Guilty As Charged
by sevenateninetoo
Summary: Tegan Clement meets her new History teacher. Tegan and Sara. Quincest.
1. Your Name

Sara's P.O.V.

„What about next Wednesday, Ms. Quin?" I sigh and shake my head.

The pen twirls between my long fingers as the girl stares at me awkwardly. I have just finished my second class today and I'm already tired of teenagers. Plus, I have a lot of work to do with the class groups being switched between teachers and grading 10th grade history tests, not to mention cleaning my apartment because the OCD is kicking in…My thoughts get interrupted by a long „Ummm…" and the sound of feet being dragged closer to my desk. „But everybody else could retake it." I nod.

„That's correct, but it would be your third time retaking it." She frowns and lets out a shaky breath, her long blonde hair falls to her face.

„Listen, Anna, here's my final offer – you come here Tuesday after your last period and we're going to revise it together until you understand it. This is your last chance, don't blow it, okay?" She nods and thanks me before leaving. As soon as the door closes I groan loudly. Why did I want to become a high school history teacher in the first place? I'm 32 years old and I still have to go to school almost every day. My wife left me because I was always so distant and couldn't focus on her 24/7. Isn't my life great. Standing up, I adjust my light blue button down shirt and take my laptop out of my bag. I go through the students list one more time before the lesson begins. I'm not sure what happened to good old Ms. Dice, but she quit last week and now I also have to take care of her 11th grade history class. There goes my free time reading… I quickly read through the list again, trying to remember the names and their previous grades. Some of them are actually very bright – like Dave Green or Tegan Clement. However, most of them are already failing and it's only January. The bell rings too soon for my liking and I sigh again. Soon the students start pouring in. I give them a few minutes to pick seats and settle down. After the fuss has stopped, I stand up and welcome them to my class.

„I also checked your grades and some of you need a lot of help. I'm willing to give you extra lessons so you can keep up with topics but only if I see improvement and co-operation, is that clear?" Some of them let out quiet „Uh-huh's". Good enough.

„Alright, great. So, let's go over that list, when I say your name, raise your hand please." I read out a couple of names, asking them questions about their conditions and if there are parts that are confusing for them. Most of them say they don't know. Typical teenagers.

„Tegan Clement?" A girl with rather long brown hair raises her hand. She kinda looks like I did when I was her age.

„Your grades are really good. Would you be interested in taking part of a few contests? There is one in February."

She nods. „Sure, why not." She smiles a little and I return a pleased smirk. At least somebody who's not lazy.

„Great, I'll let you know when." The rest of the lesson is uneventful, only Tegan and Dave and one other boy whose name I can't remember seem to be paying attention. I'll continue explaining anyway, my life is already depressing. I can't push myself to care about their future anymore. That's why they have parents. As long as I get my paycheck, I don't care if they end up in MacDonalds or not.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

When the bell rings and everybody starts to leave, I take one last look at Ms. Quin. She seems so sad at her desk, looking through some papers. She reminds me of my mother, sometimes so deep in thought.

„Hey, Tee!" Graig pokes my shoulder lightly. „It's Friday, coming to my party today? There will be booze, weed, no parents, a spare bedroom and well, me." He winks and I just laugh at his face.

„In your dreams, Graig." He seems embarrassed and leaves the classroom quickly. I collect my books without noticing that I'm the last person still there.

„Well done," I hear her say across the room. „You're Tegan, right?" Ms. Quin is looking at me and I need a minute to think before nodding.

„I'm sorry, what's well done?" I ask her and she chuckles.

„Rejecting Mr. Haris. You're the brightest student I've met in a while, I wouldn't want you to get fazed by boys and drugs and all that teenage crap." My eyes go wide. Boys. Ha. If she only knew.

„Thank you, I won't," I throw my bag over a shoulder and start heading to the door. „Goodbye then."

She nods and turns back to her paperwork. „Have a nice weekend, Tegan."


	2. Untouched

Tegan's P.O.V.

I spend the whole Monday morning trying to avoid Graig and his sly „moves" to seduce me. He would stand really close to me while I spoke to my friends and laugh at everything I said. I groaned and moved away from his touch. After the third time it happened, he gave up.

„So what's up with Graig?" My friend Lindsey asks me during lunch. I punch the spoon into my jello and shrug.

„I don't know. I guess he likes me or something." Lindsey snorts and I raise an eyebrow.„What?"

„You guess? Tee, the boy's rock hard for you." I choke on my jello.

„Linds, I'm eating! Come on!" I grimace and laugh. Lindsey knows I'm a lesbian and even though she's straight, we're still best friends.

„He has a hard on, alright! And he totally likes you," She seems to be deep in thought for a second. „Hard on…But with feelings...A heart on." She nods, chuckling.

„I hate you so much." I laugh. Since we finish our food a bit early, we decide to stay in the cafeteria until the bell rings.

„Hey, have you seen the new History teacher?" Lindsey asks, pointing to the teachers' table behind me, on the other side of the room. I turn around and look at the people sitting. I spot Ms. Quin instantly, her white teeth brighten up the whole room while she softly laughs at something the PE teacher said. My eyes travel lower on her body; she's wearing a black button up with sleeves rolled to her elbows. Her pale hands are wrapped around the coffee mug on the table in front of her. Before I can take a good look at her toned legs in dark blue skinny jeans, Lindsey asks me another question.

„Hot, right? Too bad she's a she! If she was a man I'd be all over that! I probably would get better grades then, too." I turn back to her and laugh out loud.

„You're insane. Have you already had a class with her?" I ask since we have different schedules.

She shakes her head.

„Have you?" I nod.

„How was it?"

Shrugging, I look behind me again. To my surprise, Ms. Quin is looking right at me. She smiles a little and then turns back to her cup of coffee. I forget how to breathe for a second. I guess she really does look good, like Lindsey said.

„It was…Okay. She thinks I should go to some contests." Before Lindsey can tell me how boring all this is and that I should go to a rave with her this weekend, the bell rings. We say goodbye and go different ways.

By the time I arrive to the third floor, the hallway is already empty and I'm panting and dragging my heavy backpack behind me like a rock. Running upstairs when all you've eaten since last night is a small cup of jello is not a good idea. And there really should be a law on how much can books weight.

„Oh wow," Somebody says behind me. I spin around quickly. „Can I help you with that?" Ms. Quin asks, trying not to laugh. I blush and curse in my head for embarrassing myself in front of a faculty member.

„Uhh…No it's okay." I start walking towards the Math classroom awkwardly but Ms. Quin catches up with me.

„Hey…Tegan? I know I don't have a lesson with you today, but I got some information about one of the contests. After your last period today, could you come by my office? If you want to take part, of course."

I think for a second and pick my bag up from the floor. I would have to study harder but what the hell, maybe I'll win something.

„Sure, that would be great."

She flashes me a smile.

„Okay then, I'll see you later." She says and opens the door to her office, right next to the History class. I nod and move on to my own destination.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

A knock on the door startles me and my copy of „Independence Day" jumps up from my hands, landing on the desk. I get up and unlock the door, letting Tegan in. She looks around the small office, unsure of what to do.

„Here," I say and pull a chair from the corner closer to my desk. „Have a seat." She drops her bag down and sits.„I'm glad you came. Are you in a hurry?" I ask, sitting across her to my own chair and look for the papers I printed out earlier.

„No. I'm sorry, are you?" She asks politely, her beautiful brown eyes staring into mine. I grin at her deer in the headlights look and push one of the sheets towards her.

„No, but thank you for the concern. So, this one on 14th February, it's out of town, though. And it lasts for two days so you'll be staying at a hotel."

Tegan reads the paper and nods slowly.

„How far away is that place? I don't think my mother could drive me there and back, she can't pick two days off in a row. And I don't have a father, so…" Her voice becomes quiet and she looks quite sad. I look at the address again.

„Well, I have to be there, too. So maybe I could give you a lift there and back. If you're okay with that." I can already feel the awkwardness that will occur during the two hour car ride but I guess I'll survive. Tegan seems also a bit uncomfortable.

"Are you sure? I don't want to disturb you or be a trouble." She says shyly, looking down. I move my arm closer to hers on the table and tap with my index finger gently on the back of her hand. She looks up slowly and once again I admire how beautiful she is. She just looks so soft and innocent. Her pale skin and plump, naturally red lips make her look like a real life Snow White.

„It's alright, I'd like you to come with me." I assure her while stroking her smooth hand lightly. She looks down at our hands and then back up at me.

„Thank you." She says quietly. I nod and remove my hand from hers to grab a sticky note and a pencil.

„Write down your address here for me and I'll pick you up at 8 on that day." I hand her the pen and my fingers accidentally touch hers once more. I pull away quickly before things get even weirder. While she's writing I look at her face again. She reminds me of my ex wife Emy. She had the same haircut and color…Not so sure about the face. But damn, Tegan has a nice face. She looks up when she's done and I quickly look away. I don't need one of my students to think I'm a pervert. I mean, okay, I am…But she doesn't need to know that.

„Okay, thank you. I put together some materials," I hand her the folder „Just take it home and read it through, no pressure. I'm sure you'll do fine." We both stand up and I walk her to the door. She thanks me again and I nod, without thinking placing my hand on the small of her back. Tegan blushes and wishes me a good evening. Before I can say anything back, she's already out of the door. Dammit, Sara, stop touching the teenage girl who looks like your ex!


	3. This Depression

Tegan's P.O.V.

Will I need two pairs of jeans? Which pair makes my ass look better? Who the hell cares, anyway? Okay, focus, Tegan! Tomorrow morning I have to leave for the contest with Ms. Quin. I look down at my bag, going through the list again. Toothbrush! I walk into my bathroom and grab it. Realizing I'm out of toothpaste, I groan.

„Mom!" I yell as I run downstairs.

„What?" Sonia comes around the corner, wearing a robe and holding a cup of tea.

„Do you have an extra tube of toothpaste?" I ask her. She sighs and rolls her eyes.

„It's 11 pm! And you're packing just now?!" She complains and walks towards the cupboard in the hallway. She opens the door and grabs the package.

„Here," She takes the small tube out of the package and hands it to me. „So can this new teacher be trusted? I won't be here at 8 to check her out myself."

I chuckle quietly at the thought of my mother asking Ms. Quin all kinds of weird questions.

„She's completely normal, mom." We sit down on the couch in the living room.

„Is she a good driver?" She asks and I shrug.

„I guess so. She seems very neat and conservative."

„Wait, what was her name again?" Sonia asks. I don't think I've even told her the name.

„Sara Quin. Why?" I say and get up to pour myself a glass of water. She follows me to the kitchen and puts her mug in the sink.

„Nothing, just…Just asking," She says and sighs. „Okay, well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, sweetie." She kisses my forehead.

„Night, mom." I reply and turn off the light before going to my room.

* * *

I got up at six so I could take a nice long shower and eat before leaving. Sonia left at seven after wishing me good luck and saying that if I don't come back in one piece, she will get Ms. Quin fired. I rolled my eyes at this and assured her that I would be fine.

When she arrived at eight, I was standing outside my front door, holding the heavy bag with both of my hands. She got out of her black Land Cruiser 150 and smiled at me. I started walking towards her, she met me halfway and reached for my bag.

„Morning, let me help you with that." She said and picked up my bag and carried it easily to the backseat of the car. She opened the passenger door for me and I got in. I've never been in such a fancy car before, my mother drives an old van!

„How are you feeling, nervous yet?" Ms. Quin asks and starts the engine.

„Not really, it hasn't clicked yet." She nods slowly, focusing on the road. A few of minutes go by in silence. I look out of the window as we get further away from the town. The Sun is about to rise and it starts glowing through the snowy forest. Soon the silence starts to become annoying and I decide use all the courage I have.

„Uh…Ms. Quin?" I ask awkwardly.

She lets out a short laugh and looks at me, obviously amused for some reason.

„Please call me Sara, it's so weird outside school!" She laughs and I can't help but smile, too.

„Sorry," I look down at my hands on my lap, embarrassed. „I was wondering if you could put on some music."

Sara smiled wide, showing her beautiful teeth.

„Sure, I have some CD's here," She points to the drawer between the two front seats. „Pick whichever you'd like. Or would you prefer radio?"

I shake my head and open the drawer. I go through the stack of CD's, surprised buy the fact that we have the same taste in music.

„Whoa! David Bowie, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Idol and Prince! I love all of them!" I say excitedly, forgetting that I'm here with a teacher, not one of my friends.

„Me too." Sara says and smiles sweetly and puts the „Wrecking Ball" CD I hand her in the player. We both start moving a little as „We Take Care Of Our Own" starts playing. She's taps her fingers against the steering wheel and starts singing softly. „I've been lookin' for the map that leads me home."

I laugh and join in. She starts laughing, too as we both try to keep up with Bruce's low voice. The Sun is now shimmering on the white snow and I feel free even though I'm stuck in a car with a teacher for the next two hours. When „This Depression" comes on, she quickly changes the song.

„Are you alright?" I ask her.

She turns to me for a second and nods.

„Uh, yeah. The song…It just reminds me of my recent divorce." My eyes go wide. Well, this is uncomfortable.

„I'm sorry." I say, my voice hoarse. She shakes her head.

„No, it's okay. Really. She's much happier now and so am I. Some things just don't work out and I shouldn't be sad about it."

She? Is she a…? Does that mean she's like…Me?

„I probably shouldn't have confessed that, huh?" She chuckles.

How come I didn't see that before? She basically screams dyke! She's pretty hot, too. Wait, what? Why is she looking at me like that? Was I supposed to say something? Oh, right, now she thinks she grossed me out or something. Shit, Tegan, think fast.

„Oh, no, it's okay, really," Should I say it? Ah, what the hell. „I'm actually a lesbian myself, so…Yeah." She keeps her eyes on the road, biting her bottom lip. I swear I can actually touch the awkward. Good job, Tegan.

„That's cool…I mean, I didn't have the courage to admit that at your age, but my mother caught me and my girlfriend and I was forced to come out," Did she really just say her mother saw her having sex? „Well, this isn't weird at all!" She says suddenly with a bright tone in her voice. „How about some Prince, eh?" She reaches for the CD at the same time as I do and our hands touch briefly. She pulls away quickly and lets me change the discs.

During the rest of the ride we go through some History topics. The closer we get, the more nervous I become. Sara tries to calm me down by telling me I already know everything but I can't seem to focus on anything at the moment. It's always weird to think that your teachers have had sex but when a hot lesbian one sitting right next to you says something like that, believe me, you'll try to imagine it. I wonder what's she's like in bed? I know that old Ms. Dice probably takes in the starfish position and mutters creepily with her deep voice: „Well, get it over with!" But Sara, she's still young and in shape. She looks like a top to me with her androgynous style. I wonder what it would be like to feel long elegant fingers like hers inside my virgin cunt. Fucking amazing, I bet.

„Here we are." Her voice startles me from my daydreams and I look out of the window to see the school where the contest will take place. We get out of the car and I feel my cum between my smooth labia lips. Great. Now I'm horny.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

I watch from the small audience how Tegan debates and answers questions faster than any of her competitors. This girl really is talented. And, to my surprise, also a lesbian.

„Who drafted the U.S. Declaration of Independence?" The man running the contest asks. Tegan looks up and at me, biting her bottom lip, her labret piercing popping out slightly. I nod to encourage her, we went over this topic earlier in the car. She punches the bell in front of her.

„Yes, Ms. Clement?" The man asks.

„Thomas Jefferson" Tegan says while looking at me. I give her two thumbs up.

„That's correct!" The man says and Tegan looks down while smiling. She's even more beautiful when she's shy. „And the last question of today's round: Which civilization worshipped the god Quetzalcóatl?"

Shit, that wasn't in my material. Another contestant rings the bell before Tegan can and I curse myself in my head.

„The Russians?" The girl with ponytails asks and I snort loudly. Tegan still has a chance.

„I'm sorry but the answer is incorrect," The man says. „Anyone else?" Tegan hits the bell. Come on, you can do it.

„Aztecs." She says simply and I almost yell out: „Hallelujah!"

„That is correct!" The man announces. „Today's 66 points leave Tegan Clement to lead, followed by Austin Walt with 54 points and Maria Hunter with 52 points. The rest of the contestants received points below the average and won't be competing tomorrow."

Kids, most of them disappointed and sad start walking off the stage to their teachers or friends and family. Tegan runs to me, smiling from ear to ear. Feeling proud of her, I pull her into a hug.

„You did it," I say happily and feel her arms wrap around my shoulders. Without thinking, I raise her off her feet and spin her around. „You're so fucking smart!" Realizing what I've done, I put her back down.

„Sorry, I'm just so proud of you." She smiles as wide as I do and we start walking outside to my car.

„Thanks. But maybe I'll suck tomorrow." She says, concerned.

„Nonsense, you'll do fine!" I punch her shoulder lightly and open the car door for her.

„Hey, I have an idea," I say, driving towards out hotel. „Let's put our things in our rooms and then let's go out to celebrate. I know a great club in this town that plays the music you like." Tegan agrees and soon we arrive in front of the hotel.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

„What do you mean by „We have to do with one?"" Sara asks the receptionist, obviously nervous.

„I'm really sorry about the mix-up, Ms. Quin, but you and Ms. Clement have to share a room. The computer messed up the reservations and we have no free rooms left but just one." The receptionist explains calmly. We have to share a room? Can this day get any more awkward?

„Alright, that's fine. Thank you." Sara takes the room card and walks over to me. „Well, we have to share a room. I'm sorry. Do you have a problem with that?" She asks as we step into the elevator.

„No." I say simply. The only problem I have is that I'm wet and I won't be able to get off tonight when I have to share a room with my teacher.

When we step into the hotel room, my jaw drops. It's pretty and classy…But there's only one bed.

„Um…" Sara puts our bags down on the bed and looks around the room. „I can sleep on that chair."

She points to the small chair next to the desk.

„Don't be ridiculous, it's just one night." I assure her and take a seat, slightly bouncing on the springing mattress. „Besides, it's a pretty big bed."

She sighs and avoids looking at me. Why is she making such a big deal out of this? Of course it's a bit weird, but it's not like I'm trying to get in her pants.

„Alright. Well, it's pretty late already, wanna head out?" She suggests and we take turns using the bathroom and getting changed. When I exit the bathroom, I see her still buttoning a silky black shirt. My eyes travel over the pale strip of her skin, from her chest to her navel. She looks up and notices my staring.

„Sorry." I mutter and bend over my bag to grab my phone and wallet. She doesn't say anything and I'm too afraid to look at her again, even though I'd like to see the soft skin under her navel for more than just a second.

* * *

„Here, take another one, don't tell your mother." Sara hands me the small glass of rum and coke.

„Psh!" I say and drain the glass faster than I'm supposed to.

„Hey, easy!" Sara laughs and sips her fourth drink of the night.

„Sorry," I giggle and look around, enjoying the club. It really looks pretty. And they play good music. „I was thirsty."

Sara puts her drink down on the table and gets up from the chair.

„Come on," She holds her hands out for me. „I love this song, let's dance." She says and I panic.

Will I really dance to Billy Idol's „Dancing With Myself" with my teacher? Her eyes beg me and I give up. I let her lead me to the dancefloor. Just as we're about to start jumping around, the song changes to something slower.

„Damn," Sara says. „But what the hell, come here." She puts her hands on my waist and pulls me closer.

„I, wait, what?" Before I can protest, she has raised my hands to rest aroung her neck.

„Take it easy, we're just dancing." She tells me and since her face is closer to mine than ever, I can smell her wonderful scent mixed with rum. We sway to the music slowly and I try to loosen up.

„You know…" She says quietly and I barely hear her over the music. „You're really beautiful." I connect my eyes with hers and don't say a thing. I don't know how to respond to that. Maybe I should thank her? Or compliment her back? Before I can say anything, she makes the decision for me by pressing her lips to mine.

I'm paralyzed, frozen on the spot. What is happening?

She starts to move her mouth slightly and I can't really complain. Her lips are soft and she's a good kisser. I refuse to think of anything else but Sara and start kissing her back. Her tongue licks my bottom lip and I let her into my mouth. Our tongues dance together and I revel in the sweet taste of her cocktail. One of her hands stays on my waist while the other one starts moving down towards my bum. I think that two can play that game and cup her jaw with my left hand. I drag my right hand towards her chest and rest it just above her breasts. She responds with squeezing my bum. I moan into the kiss and my hips buck againsts hers. She pulls away from my lips.

„Let's get out of here." She whispers in my ear, her voice low and sexy.

The ride to the hotel is almost a complete blur. I remember her hand travelling up my thigh and squeezing the flesh, sending a kick to my core. However I can't forget what happened afterwards.


	4. Please

Tegan's P.O.V.

Sara's hands travel up and down my sides while her mouth is kissing and licking my neck. She bites down on my flesh and I gasp, my head hitting the wall behind me.

„Wanna earn an A?" She brings her face in front of mine and asks. I bite my lip and nod slowly. I'm not drunk, I'm just too blinded by the pleasure to think about it twice and stop her. I need the release, no matter how she's going to give it to me. She removes her body from mine and walks next to the bed.

„Strip for me." She demands and sits down, her legs slightly spread.

Unsure of my movements, I approach her slowly. My shaking hands grip the hem of my shirt and I slowly pull it over my head. Sara smirks and her eyes take in my skin. My pants are next to go and soon I'm standing in front of her in my lacy black underwear. „Off," She says sternly. „All of it."

I swallow nervously and unhook my bra. I slide it slowly down my arms and throw it on the floor.

„Come here." Sara pats her leg. I lower myself on her lap and put my hands on her shoulders. She grips my underwear clad bum in her hands and grinds my core the her hips. I throw my head back, closing my eyes. She kisses my neck and collarbones, making me sigh out quietly.

„I- I need to feel you." I moan in her ear.

She pulls me closer to her body and kisses me passionately while turning us around and throwing me down on my back on the bed. Sara climbs on top of me and pins my arms down on both sides of my head. She bends down her head and kisses my breasts. My back arches closer to her mouth and she bites down on my nipple. She releases her grip on my hands and slides her cold fingers down from my chest to my waist. She rests her palms on top of my underwear and looks me in the eye.

„Have you done this before?" She asks.

I shake my head, thinking she will call it off. Instead, she starts pulling my panties down my thighs. I lift my ass to help her out and she slides them off my legs, leaving me completely bare. I feel weird under her, being the only who's naked, so I raise my hands to the button of her jeans. She gets the hint and gets up from the bed and takes off her pants and shirt, leaving only boxers on. She hovers over me again and just looks into my eyes.

„Please." I beg and stroke her cheek gently with my fingertips. All of this is new to me but I'm sure that I want it. Her touch feels too good to deny.

Sara kisses me on the lips quickly and slides down my body, placing tender kisses here and there. She spreads my legs and gets between the two. I grip the sheets with my hands, ready to scream in pleasure. The spark I feel when her tongue touches my wet sex for the first time is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.

„Ohhh...Sara!" I moan and one of my hands moves down to grip the short hair on the back of her neck. She circles my clit with the tip of her tongue and then pulls it between her lips. This is nothing like rubbing my clit myself while thinking of naked girls, feeling her mouth is so much better. She nudges my legs apart further and licks my small entrance, pushing her tongue inside of me. My back arches off the bed and my hips buck up to meet her mouth as she fucks me with her muscle. My grip on the sheet tightens and I feel the heat between my legs increasing. I need to feel her deep inside of me. I pull her head away from my cunt and bring her up to face me.

„Please, be inside me, please Sara." I order shyly and she licks her lips before kissing me deeply. I can taste my juices on her lips and it makes me even wetter.

One of her hands slides under my waist and holds my body pressed againsts hers while the other one moves to my pussy. I throw one of mine over her shoulders and feel her toned back muscles moving under her soft skin. With the other one I grip the sheets over my head. I close my eyes tightly, waiting for her to enter me and be the first one to feel me from the inside. Her nipples brush against mine and the four become even more harder.

Her fingers collect my cum and she places just one at my opening.

„Please," I beg and she pushes the digit in slowly and gently. „Ahhh, Sara," I moan, the pleasure taking over my senses. „More, Sara, please..."

She pushes in another finger and I grimace, feeling my cunt being stretched. She pumps the two in and out, picking up speed with every thrust. I squirm and moan, unable to control myself. She starts to prepare me for my release by rubbing my clit with her thumb. The action makes my pelvis buck up and I try to close my legs as much as I can with her hips between them.

„Keep them spread wide." She demands, her voice sexy and husky. I do as she says and soon I'm close to orgasming.

„Come for me, Tegan." She says while curling her fingers towars my G-spot and I go over the edge. I cum all over her fingers, the feeling of her deep inside of my cunt making the rest of my body numb. I'm on cloud nine, moaning and squirming.

She places kisses on my chest, waiting for me to calm down.

„Kiss me." I say between deep breaths.

She presses her lips to mine and at the same time her tongue invades my mouth, she thrusts her stilled fingers deeper into me.

„Ahh!" I disconnect from her lips and throw my head back, my eyes closed. She chuckles and kisses me again.

We make out for some time, her digits still inside, until she pulls away and strokes my cheek with her other hand.

„Happy Valentine's Day, Tegan." She says sweetly.


	5. A Plus

Tegan's P.O.V.

Her words make me smile and I kiss her again and again until she gets off me and slides off her boxers. She climbs on me again, making her legs to scissor mine. I look at her every move, wondering what is she going to do to me next. Or am I supposed to make a move? She's probably dying to be touched but I've never done this before, how should I even start? My breath gets stuck in my lungs and my eyes go wide as Sara grips my bum and thighs and pulls my wet cunt up to meet hers. She begins grinding our pussies roughly together. I feel our clits rubbing, lips kissing and juices mixing, and it drives me wild. My body is rocking so intensively I have to tighten my grip on the sheets with both of my hands. When I hear Sara moaning for the first time, the clit twitches. The sounds she makes are just so sexy. I can't help but let out my own noises of pleasure and squirm. My hands come to contact with the headboard and I hold onto it with all my strength. Sara's fingers and nails press into the soft skin of my thighs as she pounds her pelvis to mine. My lower body is starting to hurt but somehow the pain adds even more pleasure. From the noises she's making I can tell that she's getting close. Her hold on my body becomes stronger as she rocks my body violently for me. My breasts bounce faster and faster and catch her eye, causing her to mess up the rhythm.

„Fuck." She whispers, sweaty and tired.

I take control and flip her on her back. My action surprises her but she doesn't complain.

I pick up the speed again, trying to give her as much pleasure as she gave to me. My hard work pays off and she starts squirting all over my own sex, screaming my name. The sight alone makes me cum.

I collapse on top of her and let my breathing return to normal. I feel both of our cum drip down our legs onto the sheets, soaking the hotel bed.

I look at Sara's face and smile. She's so fucking gorgeous. I push her hair away from her eyes and look in them, searching for something. A confirmation that's she's really fully here, thinking of me and not of someone else.

She returns the smile and kisses me slowly. After a few minutes of enjoying her sweet mouth, she pulls away and I rest my head on her chest. I can feel her wet center against my stomach and it makes me horny again but I'm too tired to do anything about it.

„You just earned a fucking A +, kid." She says, her voice hoarse from the sex. I giggle and place a loving kiss over her heart. The last thing I feel before falling asleep is her soft fingertips drawing shapes on my back.

* * *

„Oh my God."

Something moves next to me suddenly.

„Fuck."

What?

Who is whispering?

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is black ink. A ship sailing in the restless sea.

I blink quickly and look again. Of course. The tattoo on her shoulder.

I smile as I remember everything; how her kiss felt, her fingers and tongue inside of me, her juices running down my legs...I kiss the tattoo softly before looking up.

Sara has covered her face with both of her hands and seems to be breathing a bit too fast than normal. Her naked chest is moving rapidly.

„Sara?" I ask quietly and place my hand on her sternum. „Are you alright?"

She doesn't say anything and I become worried.

„Say something, please." I sit up, keeping my hand on her chest. „What's wrong?"

Without a warning she slaps my hand away and gets up from the bed. She takes her coat from the chair and pulls it on to cover her body.

„Sara?" I ask, panic in my voice.

„What's wrong? I'll tell you what's fucking wrong!" She says angrily while grabbing some clothes from her bag. „I fucked one of my underage students last night, how does that sound?" She looks me in the eyes and I freeze. Shit. I totally forgot she's my teacher. But for some reason I can't share her worry. I don't care, I just want to be with her.

„That's fine, I won't tell anyone." I assure her calmly but she shakes her head.

„That is not fine! How did I let this happen, how did you let this happen, for fuck's sake, Tegan!"

I hold the sheet over my chest tightly and look down, feeling ashamed.

„But..." I say shyly. „No one will know. I want you." I whisper the last sentence, my shame growing.

She sighs.

„This is sick. Do you even know how old I am?" Sara asks and I shake my head, feeling the tears forming in my eyes. Can't she see that I want this?

„I'm 32, Tegan. And you're just 17," She says quietly to my surprise. I thought she was 20-something. „What happened last night..." She starts slowly, taking her time. „Can never happen again."

A tear slides down my cheek and I look up at her.

„Sara, please. We can make this work..." I beg but she raises her hand to silence me.

„Stop. There is no we. I was drunk, it meant nothing to me, okay? Last night never happened. Now get up, we have to get going. You can shower after I'm done." She says and slams the bathroom door behind her. I start sobbing when I hear the water running. How can she do that to me? Take my virginity, make love to me, hold me and kiss me, tell me I'm beautiful and then say it meant nothing. I know this is illegal and frowned upon but drunk or not – you can't just forget that for hours! Maybe she can if she really wants to but I can't just forget that. Last night was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I wipe my tears away and get up. My cunt is hurting and sore, when I look down at my body, I gasp. I have bruises on my hips and on the inside of my thighs from her hands and scissoring so roughly. An alternative ending flashes before my eyes and I wake up in her arms. She kisses my neck and whispers: „Good morning, beautiful." in my ear. I turn around in her embrace and kiss her passionately. She asks me how I feel and I'll say I'm sore, but completely satisfied. When we get up to take a shower together, I look down at my legs and smile, happy that she likes my body enough to mark it as hers. She wraps her arms around me from behind and sees me as a woman, not just some silly little girl.

The sound of bathroom door opening wakes me from my daydreams and I jump slightly. Sara looks down at my naked mound and bruises on my legs but doesn't say anything. She turns her head away and starts packing up her things like she doesn't give a damn.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

The silence is killing me and probably her, too.

Maybe I should say something? After all, she did a good job at the contest today. I've never seen a girl so pretty become first at a History knowledge contest. She also did a good job at fucking you last night even though it was her first time – Hey, shut the fuck up, bad Sara!

Her first time, oh God. I ruined her life.

Why didn't she say „No"? Or maybe she did say that but I was too drunk to care? I saw the bruises on her legs, I must have hurt her bad. I'm in deep shit! How did I end up here? Ever since my divorce with Emy, I've been drinking more than I used to. But if last night I didn't drink much, how did I still let that happen? What is going to happen now?

When she said she wanted me, my brain froze. Does she have the Stockholm syndrome or something? Or maybe she's too blinded by her first time and the pleasure that came with it that she thinks it's okay and is under the impression of liking me?

To stop my own flood of questions, I turn on the radio.

„Good job today, really proud of you." I say quietly.

She looks out of the window and says a simple „Thanks."

Why did I have to drink?


	6. How come?

Tegan's P.O.V.

* * *

_Monday_

„Well, did you win something?" Lindsey asks, smiling wide.

We're sitting in girls dressingroom, tired after the PE lesson. I try hiding my thighs with the towel as I pull my tight jeans up. I don't want her asking questions about my bruises. „Yeah, a nice amount of money and some books," I manage to pull the jeans over my ass, biting down on my lower lip so I don't cry out when the fabric brushes against the wounds. I panic when I think of my next lesson. „What did you do last weekend?" I ask to distract my thoughts.  
„In a nutshell…Went to a rave, met a hot guy, he turned out to be gay," She says while putting on deodorant. I chuckle at this, imagining her face in that situation. „However, there were many cute lesbians, you would have liked that." She pulls on her T-shirt, I put on clean socks and shoes and we're ready to go.„Yeah, probably." I mutter, opening the door for her. In reality, I like only one girl.  
„Then you're coming with me this Friday," Lindsey says cheerfully but then suddenly stops walking. „Oh shit, I have a test in chemistry! I gotta go and study, I'll see you later!" With that, she runs off.  
Great, now I'm alone with my panic.  
When the bell rings, I walk slowly into the classroom, trying not to look weird. To my luck, there's a lot of chatting and excitement going on, everyone are trying to find out how their friends spent the weekend.  
„Okay, settle down now." I hear her voice and look up.  
She's sitting at her desk, looking tired. Her dark blouse is lightly creased and she has dark circles around her eyes. She almost looks hungover. Did she really drink again?  
During the whole lesson, she doesn't make eyecontact with me. Before the misadventure, she would ask me things about the topic and let us express our opinions but now she only asks Dave or Thomas. That seems almost childish, to just ignore me. Also it seems to draw even more attention to the fact that something happened between us.

* * *

_Thursday_

During the past three days, Sara has been acting like I don't even exist.  
She hasn't even looked at me. Not even once.  
I've noticed that she doesn't eat at the cafeteria anymore, she only drinks coffee. She also has stopped smiling. I feel bad for her but then I remember how she blamed me.  
I'm not sad anymore, now I'm just angry. Who the hell does she think she is?  
She was the one who kissed and fucked me first, it's not my fault. She's an adult, she should have known better.  
The whole thing is starting to annoy me, so I've decided to take action.  
I will make her notice me. We have to make up somehow, whether she wants to be with me or not.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V

The short beeping noise reaches my ears for the third time. I understand that sometimes you just have to text during the lesson but who the hell is dumb enough to do it without turning their phone on mute?

„Whoever is texting, stop it." I say, looking around. Most of them have one hand under the table so it's hard to know.  
After ten seconds, the noise starts again. I look over the students again, stopping when I reach Tegan's table. She has the phone in her hands, texting freely. Is she being fucking serious? I decide to ignore it, maybe she has gone mad.  
The noise comes again and I give in. Is that what she wants?  
„Tegan," I say and she looks up, smiling a little. „Stop." She just shrugs and keeps texting.  
„Um, Ms. Quin, last time I kept texting, I got detention and had to clean the classroom. Why can she do that?" Some blonde girl asks. I don't even bother remembering her name, she's always selfish and rude. Now she seems to have a point, though.  
Tegan nods and keeps her eyes on the phone, typing. That's it, she's going to regret it. I stand up and walk to her desk.  
„She's not getting detention, she's going to the principal's office," Tegan looks up, surprised. „Right now." Her shocked expression fades and she smirks.  
„I don't know what to say to him." She says and puts the phone in her pocket.  
I sigh and walk to the door. I hold it open for her and wait.

As soon as we're in the hallway, I unlock the door to my office and pull her in, locking it behind me.

I push her against the wall and hold her hands pinned to it.  
„What do you think you're doing?" I whisper angrily, finally looking in her eyes after such a long break. „Is that what you want? Get some reaction out of me? Play along with your game, huh?"  
She bites her bottom lip seductively.  
„I need to talk to you," She says quietly. How fucking great. I'm hungover from last night and now she wants to talk about the reason why I'm drowning my problems again. „I know what happened was wrong but you don't have to be a bitch about it. And stop blaming me, you were the one who initiated it," She's obviously angry, too, and not holding it in. „Let's just forget about it if you want to and move on with our lives," Her mood turns sadder and her eyes are piercing. „But how come you don't want me now? Why don't you want to wait this out?"  
I release her hands. „Why? This is fucking illegal, how come you don't understand the seriousness of this? I could go to jail," I try to explain patiently but can't remain calm. „I was drunk, okay? Can't you understand that? It has nothing to do with feelings towards you."  
She gasps and gets mad. „So you admit that you just used me for sex! You're the one who should be beating herself up over this, not me. You knew I was new to this and hence easy to get but this is so selfish."  
That's the last straw. I could just hit her but that would be too far. Instead I slam her against the wall again and bring my face closer to hers.  
„What makes you think I'm not beating myself up?" I ask in disbelief.  
„You didn't even say sorry. You act like you don't give a fuck about me." She whispers, tears threatening to fall. No matter how much she pouts or begs, I have to stop this.  
„Damn right I don't." I say and her tears break free.  
„Am I not enough for you?" She asks between the sobs. This is a heartbreaking thing to see, maybe I should go easier on her.  
I sigh and soften my tone. „It's not about that, Tegan."  
She looks at me like a lost puppy, so hurt and innocent. And beautiful.  
Next thing - we're kissing. How did that happen - I don't know.  
I slide my hands behind the small of her back and gently hold her against my body. She puts her hands on my chest and I deepen the kiss, feeling her tongue meet mine once again.  
Things get carried away and soon I'm fucking her roughly against the wall with my fingers. She holds onto my back and whimpers. I realize that I'm probably hurting her and slow down. I've already caused enough damage to her. I stroke her smooth, wet walls and place kisses on her neck. Her wetness increases thanks to my tenderness and she starts to moan.  
I pull my fingers out and make her stand in front of my desk, her back to me. She places her hands down on the desk and pushes her bum out. I slide her jeans down to her ankles and spread her legs. I place one hand over her mouth and enter her from behind with my thumb. This way I can rub and focus on her G-spot and still circle around her clit with my index and middle finger.  
She squirms and moans behind my hand and I hope that no one in the classroom can hear that. I feel tears on the hand that holds her mouth and sigh.  
„Enough with the tears." I whisper in her ear and start kissing her back. Her skin is so milky and soft. I keep my lips pressed to the nape of her neck and breathe in her scent. Her body arches and she comes all over my hand. While she comes down from her high, I lick my fingers clean, savoring her taste.  
She turns around and starts pulling her pants up but I stop her.  
„I can't let you leave all wet." I say and make her sit on the edge of my desk. I spread her legs as far as they can go with her jeans still around her ankles and kneel down in front of her. I kiss her fading bruises and wounds as an apology. Tegan runs her hand through my hair as I gently lick her sweet cunt clean. I wish I could give her a round two, but there is not enough time, so I place final kisses to her opening and clit and stand up.  
When she's dressed again, I pull her into a deep kiss, letting her get a taste of herself. The bell rings too soon and I pull away.  
„Go now," I say and admire her afterglow. „And no more texting, okay?"  
She nods and pecks me on the lips one more time before leaving.


	7. Choices

Emy's P.O.V.

„Are you sure?" I ask the man at the desk.

He looks through the papers in front of him and then at the computer.

„I'm sorry, Ms. Storey, but that's unfortunately true," I sigh and look down at my feet. „I'm sorry."

I shake my head and smile. „No, it's actually okay. I was hoping for it."

The man's eyes widen. „Really?" I nod and raise from the seat, reaching for the phone in my jacket's pocket. I dial her number and walk away from the desk.

„Emy?" She picks up, confused.

„Sara, hey. There's something I have to tell you." I say, smiling wide. I don't bother asking her how she is, I can't keep that in any longer.

„Uh, I'm kinda busy at the moment." She says and I hear noises in the background.

„This is important." It's lunchtime so she's probably just at the cafeteria.

She sighs. „Okay, what?" I try to hold back my smile.

„Remember how I was mad at you for not focusing on me and everything? Well, I've been thinking and I'm over it. I'd like to try again. I feel like I threw something so amazing away just because I was selfish and I promise to deal with your stress and help you and give you all the time you need…I miss you Sara." I stop and wait for her to answer.

„You want to try again?" She asks with no emotion in her voice but I'm used to it. She's just surprised.

„Yes. Please, honey." I say and bite my lip. It's not like she really has a choice.

„Oh," She sighs. „Alright."

„There's one more thing," I say, smiling wider than ever before. „I was informed that our divorce isn't final. Something went wrong and well…We're still married." Sara stays quiet for a minute.

„Babe? You still there?" I ask and she starts coughing. „Use your puffer, baby!" I start to worry but she stops.

„No, I'm fine, I just…Okay. Move back in?"

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

I walk happily towards Sara's office, not caring about going to the chemistry lesson that's about to start any minute.

I'm still confused, though. When she pulled me into her office yesterday and fucked me, she seemed to be into me again, after just saying I meant nothing to her. So I don't know what to think of it. Hopefully I will find out, but me being me, my hopes are already too up.

I knock at her door and wait. When she finally opens it, invites me in and offers me a seat, I feel nervous.

„What brings you here?" She asks and sits down across me.

I clear my throat and begin carefully. „I need to know what's going on. Do you ever plan being with me for real or do you want to keep using me for sex or…Just tell me what you want from me because yesterday you told me it was a mistake and then you did it again. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." I squirm in my seat under her gaze.

„Tegan," She says, gets up and walks around the table to me. „This is complicated and I know I'm hurting your little teenage heart that yearns for love but we can't keep doing this," She kneels down in front of me and takes my hands in hers. This is it. This is the end. „What I did yesterday was unprofessional but it made me realize that we have to stop this. It has gone too far." She strokes the back of my hand with her thumb. At least she's being nice to me while doing this…If there even is a nice way to break up with somebody.

„But don't you want this?" I ask her, holding back my tears. Stupid puberty, making me emotional all the time. „Don't you want me?"

Sara gets up and walks to the window.

„It's not about what I want. I want a lot of things. But this thing between us is unhealthy and can't continue," She turns to me. „We'll go back to being just a teacher and student and we'll get along."

Looks like I have no other choice but to suck it up and agree. I can't force her to do anything. Maybe it is for the best.

„If that's what you want." I say, get up and take my bag from the floor. Before I reach the door, her hand on my shoulder stops me. I turn around and look at her. She doesn't look hungover today. Good for her.

„Tegan…Please try to be happy, okay? Go out and have fun, find a girlfriend, have a healthy relationship." She says. I nod.

„You, too." I tell her against my real will and she looks down.

„I, um, I already did," She says like she's embarrassed. I can't believe it. Already? „My wife called me, she's moving back in. We're going to try again." My fragile heart gets stabbed.

„But…You said you were divorced!" I say in disbelief. Has she been lying to me?

„I thought so, too. But something went wrong with the paperwork and we're still married," She walks back to her desk and sits down. „I'm going to start a family with her and we'll be happy and normal."

I don't even know what to say. I meant nothing to her. Literally nothing.

„Good luck then." I say briefly and open the door.

Sara starts going through some papers and doesn't look at me when she says: „To you, too."

It's a good thing, that way she can't see how she broke me and how she meant something for me. I won't let her think that I was into her, not anymore.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

„Ahhhh….Mmm….More fingers, babe," She moans against my neck and I give her what she wants. „Ohh, yeah, like that! Ohhh, Saraaa…" Emy's moans grow louder as I fuck her on our bed for the first time in months. She fills me with her own digits and pumps fast. I sigh and collapse to her chest. We've been living together for a week now but were so busy with catching up and getting used to it again that we didn't have time for sex until now.

I've missed this. This secure life. And her. Her smell, her eyes, her smile…

„I'm so close, baby!" She screams and I press into her faster, placing kisses on her breasts. She arches under me and comes with a loud moan. Her fingers fall out of my cunt and I whimper. She doesn't seem to notice or care that I didn't orgasm yet and pulls me into a kiss. I let it drop and kiss her deeply.

I'm normal again.

I'm kissing my wife in our bed, there's nothing illegal about it.

„I've missed you." Emy says sweetly and I kiss her cheek.

„I missed you, too, babe." I tell her and roll on my back. She moves to straddle my hips and I look up her body.

She's gorgeous, so soft and curvy. I run my hands over her waist and thighs and she giggles.

„I have something for you," She says and reaches her hand under the pillows. She pulls out a small black box and rests it on my stomach. „Open it."

I open the box and see our old wedding rings. I smile slightly, taking out the one that has a small _„S" _carved on.

„Emy Storey," I take her left hand in mine. „Will you be my wife…Again?"

She smiles sweetly and nods. I slide the golden ring to her finger and kiss the back of her hand.

Emy gives me the same treatment and then entwines our hands together.

I fall asleep with my wife in my arms.


	8. Dysfunctional

**Author's Note/Please read: Thank you all for reading, it means a lot. So I'll try to reward you with at least 3 chapters a week. Also, I saw somebody refer to my Sara (not the real one!) as an asshole in the reviews and I love it, I need more honest opinions. What kind of impressions the story or characters give you? Let it all out. :)**

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

The beat flows through me, sends shivers down my spine.

I feel goosebumps cover my skin, my chest feels like bursting open. The music gets faster and stronger and more powerful and the beat reaches it's peak. I feel euphoria. I feel like flying, running…_Exploding,_ even. I need to move, jump, do something. Scream out what I want or need, I feel like I'm the only person in this whole wide world, experiencing this high level of emotions.

I shiver and open my eyes as the song comes to an end. Lindsey holds onto my hips and giggles softly. I turn to her and smile.

„Thanks for bringing me here tonight." I tell her and she nods, laughing like a lunatic. She's really intoxicated.

We're at the Smashing Pumpkins concert, high and drunk, ready to leave.

„No problem…Hey," She looks at something on my left and laughs harder. „There's that girl from our Gym class…She's also a cheerleader. Yaknow, I hear she's a lesbian." I look in the direction she's pointing at and search for a girl I'm supposed to know.

A rather tall blonde is the only one who I find familiar.

„Anna?" I ask and laugh. „She doesn't look like a lesbian, come on now Linds." She starts pulling me towards the girl and giggles uncontrollably. I try to pull her back but she slaps my bum and I lose focus.

„Hey!" Lindsey yells at her and Anna turns around, staring eyes wide. We've never spoken before. „Hey, Anne!"

Anna raises an eyebrow and corrects her. „Um, it's Anna." Lindsey pats my bum and I blush. This is so awkward, what is she doing?

„Whatever, listen, my friend here is a dyke, too. So you might wanna catch up on the latest Ellen episodes or whatever, right?" Anna bursts out laughing and I'm confused and embarrassed. Which way was the exit, again?

„I don't watch Ellen, but I don't mind talking to you." She looks at me and smiles warmly. „You're Tegan, right?" I nod and she shakes my hand. Lindsey lets out a noise that sounds like a „Psht!" and pushes me and Anna so our bodies collide.

„Don't be shy!" Lindsey yells and I step away from Anna quickly. „But we gotta get going soon, Tee."

„Well, give me your number and I'll see you at school." The blonde says and hands me her phone. I type in my number, still uncertain about this. But what have I got to lose, besides my virginity? Oh, wait…

„Cool, I'll call you sometime." Anna winks at me and walks away. What just happened?

* * *

**_11.08.2012_**

Sara's P.O.V.

I don't look away from my paperwork as she begs me. Not even once.

I can hear her but I don't listen. I know how exorable she is sometimes, so I don't worry.

„Sara, please, pay attention!" She says, her voice raising volume.

„What?" I say through my teeth, giving up. There's so much work left to do and absolutely no time for drama.

„Why are you so distant all the time? It's like you don't even have time to focus one me anymore!" I keep my eyes on my work and twirl the hair on the back of my neck around my fingers.

„What are you talking about, Emy? I'm always focused on you." Even I don't believe what I said, but I'm too tired to fight or give her the attention she annoyingly yearns for.

„How come you couldn't tell me I looked nice tonight?" She says with a heartbreaking voice. „I worked so hard to impress you." Finally, I look up.

She's standing in in the middle of our living room, across my desk. I start noticing the small things – her hair has grown longer, she is wearing make up to bring out her beautiful features and her clothes are more tight-fitting, just the way I like seeing her; not hiding her body. I can't believe I haven't realized how my egocentric personality is affecting her emotionally .

„Em…" I stand up and walk to her. „You look nice all the time. It's not the make up that makes you prettier, it's you being you. You're stunning." I place my hands on her hips and pull her towards me. She hides her face to my neck and sighs.

„It just feels like you don't care about me anymore. Like you don't even see me." I stroke her soft hair and hug her tightly.

„I love you, sweetheart, of course I care about you," I place a tender kiss to her neck. „I'm sorry."

„I'm not your toy, Sara. You can't just use me and then forget about me. You agreed to do be in this marriage with me, you have to work for it, too." She pulls away from my embrace and looks at me, her eyes damp.

„Work for it? I work for three different schools to make enough money so we can bring a baby into our lives. Don't you think that I really can't be blamed for being stressed and tired all the time?" I ask her and turn back to my desk. If she wants a family with me, she has to realize the liability that comes with it.

„And I don't work?" She asks like I had offended her. I sigh and get back to my assignments.

„That's not what I said. You're an artist, Emy. Your job depends on orders. No orders, no money," I try to explain. „I'm just worried, that's all. We should be financially secured." She shakes her head.

„I can't believe you," She walks to our bedroom. I follow, thinking about what did I say wrong now. „You make it sound like you wear the pants in this marriage! Like you're the man, a higher power!" Bending down, she reaches for her suitcase under our bed. All the color drains from my face, I know where this is going. „I can't do this anymore. I'm paranoid. I think you're lying, when you're at work I think you're cheating…You're becoming more like a husband to me. I wanted a wife not a stressed middle-aged man, for fuck's sake!" She explains loudly while throwing her clothes and personal items into the open suitcase on the bed.

„Emy, please…" I try to touch her hand but she slaps me away and continues packing. „Don't do this." Why is she acting like this? Everything can still be fixed, can't it?

„No. Listen…You don't care. You're so self-centered! I feel like I'll never be good enough for you! Do you know how you make me feel? Do you?" She stops for a second and looks at me, her tears flowing, ruining her make up. Something clicks in me and I give up on trying to make her stay. She is making a problem out of nothing. She's unstable, like me. We're dysfunctional. Is she looking for a reason to leave…On purpose? Is she really so exhausted because of me being exhausted?

„Go then. If I make you so miserable," I say calmly. I'm not even crying. I'm sick of this, too. „Go if you want to, I can't stop you." She holds back her sobs and finishes packing. If I'm really hurting her then this can't go on. I can't make her live this sad life by my side, she deserves to be happy with someone who treats her better. Someone who doesn't need as much time alone as I do. I can't even cuddle or spoon with her without feeling weird.

Without saying anything else, she leaves me. Maybe she was hoping for me to try to stop her again but I couldn't. I didn't even want to. I lay awake in the night, just staring at the ceiling above. Pulling pieces of it out is such a waste of time. I keep on fighting to remember that nothing is lost in the end. But I'm all messed up, sick inside wondering where is she leaving her make up.


	9. Three

Sara's P.O.V.

I hang my coat and quickly kick off my shoes.  
"Honey?" I ask loudly over the house.

"In here!" Comes the sweet reply.  
Leaving the briefcase next to the door, I walk into the living room. She's sitting on the couch, reading a book.  
I sit down next to her and she puts the book on the coffee table, smiling wide.

"Hi, baby," She says and pulls me into a kiss. "I..Mmmm..." She moans between kisses. "Missed you..."  
I pull away and laugh softly. "I was only gone for five hours." I rise from the couch and go to change my clothes and wash up. Emy follows me and observes everything I do with a smile on her face. I pull on a pair of long, dark sweatpants and walk up to her.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I ask her and place my hands on her hips.  
"I have something to tell you." She says and taking my hand, leads me back to the living room.

"What is it?" I ask and she sits on my lap. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close.

"I..." She smiles uncontrollably. Her eyes are so full of life and I can't help but smile back at her. "Baby, I'm...I wanted to tell you that...I'm pregnant." A tear of happiness slides down her cheek and I stare at her, eyes wide.

"Em...What?" I pull her into a passionate kiss, feeling her stomach press to mine. There's a baby in there. My baby.  
When she finally pulls away I realize something.

"Hang on, when did you get this done?" I ask in confusion.

"January. After the break up, I still wanted one, I couldn't get it off my mind. And I also missed you and then I got the letter about our divorce and it all worked our perfectly. I wanted you back and this is," She lifts her shirt and rubs her belly. "A little surprise for you. I waited with telling you until now because I wanted us to be ready and settled in."  
I place my hands on her stomach, how come I didn't pay attention to the small bump before?

"But Emy, I...I quit my other two jobs after the divorce. We have to be careful with the money." I say, stroking her soft skin.

"Will you ever stop worrying, babe?" She asks and pecks me on the lips. "I love you," She sighs and kisses my neck. I play with her hair gently. We're having a baby. Finally. Unbelievable. "Tell me you love me?" She looks at me and asks.  
I cup her cheek and kiss her deeply.

"I'll show you." I lay her on her back on the couch and start kissing all over her face.  
She giggles and I trail my mouth down her body and remove her clothes. Her moans fill the room as I work lovingly over her soft folds. Soon there will be three of us.

* * *

3 weeks later

Tegan's P.O.V.

I'm sitting at the cafeteria with Lindsey and Anna who are discussing the latest gossip. They don't seem to notice that my eyes have been focused on Sara for the last 10 minutes. She seems really weird; she doesn't smile often but also doesn't seem sad. It's more like being so deep in thought and stressing over something that you forget to be happy.  
She looks more decent now; her blue button-down shirt seems clean and she has a black blazer on, making her look professional.

"They were also saying that her wife's pregnant." Lindsey says.  
"No way!" Anna gasps happily.

"Way! She's giving birth in like...September." I start paying attention to what they're saying and hear something familiar.  
"Wait," I turn to Lindsey. "Who's pregnant?"

She laughs at my shocked facial expression. "Ms. Quin's wife, I thought you knew, you went to that trip with her."  
I shake my head and look back at Sara. So she's playing a happy family now?  
"Isn't that cute, Tee?" Anna hooks her arm around mine and rests her head on my shoulder. Anna and I have been hanging out a lot lately and she's using every opportunity she can to touch me.  
"Yeah," I nod, emotionless. "Cute."

* * *

I knock briefly and open the door to her office. She looks up from her desk and drops her pen.

"What brings you here?" Sara asks and points to the other chair with her hand. I sit down across her and clear my throat, feeling nervous.  
"I, um, heard about the pregnancy and just wanted to congratulate you," She smiles a little. "I hope you're happy."

She nods. "I am. Thank you." I look down and force a small smile on my face.  
"But how are you? I see you've been hanging around with Anna a lot lately." I look up at her. Did she really bring that up?  
I look around the room awkwardly.

"Um. Yeah. I'm good." I say shortly. Sara crosses her fingers on the table and licks her lips.  
"Are you a couple?" She asks, a little chuckle added to the question.  
"What if we were?" I ask back, avoiding telling her the opposite.

She shrugs. "Nothing, just asking." She smirks and her whole attitude seems easygoing.  
"It's...Going towards it. She doesn't watch Ellen, tho." I admit, going along with her free state.  
Sara laughs loudly.

"Not a keeper then," She turns serious and holds eye contact with me. "Do you like her?"  
I take a few seconds to think about it. Do I? Or am I just using her to get back to Sara? Why should I even do that, it's not like she cares about me anymore. It was all just a big mistake.

"Yeah," I say slowly. "I think I do." Sara looks at her paperwork again and does a quiet "Hm." sound.  
"You could teach her a thing or two."  
My head tilts to the side. "Pardon?" I ask.  
She connects our eyes again. "About History, she's failing." Oh. What else?

"Okay, yeah," I stand up and take my bag from the floor. "I'll go now."  
She waves me off, focused on her work again.

* * *

The three of us run back towards the girls dressing room through the dark and narrow hallway, giggling nonstop. I get to door first and pull it open, Lindsey's body bounces to my back and I stumble in. Anna grabs my hips before I can fall on my face.

"Thanks," I say, blushing and open my locker. "Thank God it was the last lesson today!" "Totally!" Lindsey grabs her towel and throws it over her shoulder.

"I'm gonna go shower, who's in?" I look around, all the other girls are moving towards the showers. "Tee, you coming?" Lindsey slaps me with her towel. I laugh and jump away from her blows.

"No, it's a bit crowded in there. I'll wait 'til everyone's done." I sit down on the bench and take off my sneakers.  
"Suit yourself!" She says and runs towards the washroom.  
PE has become even more fun with Lindsey and Anna. She gets along well with Lindsey but she'll never beat her.  
Lindsey has always been there for me, no matter what.

"All yours!" I hear her voice and look up. Everyone are back, wrapped in towels and hair wet.  
"Finally!" I grab my things and occupy the room. I strip and place my clothes neatly on one of the benches. When the hot stream of water finally hits my skin, I close my eyes and sigh out. My hands rest on the wall in front of me and I hang my head, the water running over my hair.

Suddenly I feel something soft on my waist and spin around. Anna is standing before me, completely naked. I look at her body and gasp. Her breasts are huge and gorgeous, almost bigger than mine. Her mound is covered by a strip of dark hair and her legs are long and toned.

"Tegan, I..." She steps closer to me, backing me up againts the cold wall. What is she doing? "Mmm..." Warm water hits her skin and she moans. "I want you...Do you want me?" She asks and her hands rest gently above my breasts. Before I can say anything, she kisses me hungrily and without thinking this through, I kiss her back with the equal amount of passion. My hands grip her wet and soft hips and pull her closer to me. Her tongue twirls with mine and she massages my tits roughly. I moan out, enjoying the slick friction between our wet bodies.

"Touch me here, Tee..." She whispers and slides one of my hands between her legs. I gasp at her boldness but start rubbing her clit anyway.  
She's beautiful and practically just fell in my lap, why would I deny it?  
Her own hand moves to rub my clit and I jump in surprise. Our hands stroke rapidly as our tongues wrestle, she feels so good and wet. After some time, her moaning starts to become louder and I feel getting closer to the edge, too.

"Ohh, Tegan..." She breathes heavily in my ear and kisses my neck. Flashbacks enter my mind and I see her on top of me again,  
feel her long fingers in me and her soft lips caress the skin everywhere on my body.

"Sara..." I moan and come against her fingers. The fingers vanish and I open my eyes.  
"Sara?" Anna stares at me, breathless from her own orgasm. She doesn't seem mad, just confused.  
"I, I'm," I blink quickly and look down. "I'm sorry, I just..." Tears start to run down my face and Anna pulls me into a tight hug.

"Shh, it's okay, everything's alright." She whispers and strokes my back tenderly. 'I'm so messed up.' I think as I cry in her arms, water running down our bodies.


	10. Kill me

Tegan's P.O.V.

The Sun is shining over the melting snow, blinding me with it's brightness. It's a beautiful Spring day.  
For some of us.  
The blonde walking next to me clears her throat awkwardly. "Uh, so which way do you live?" She asks me as we reach the fork in the road.  
"Right," I point to the road that leads into the woods. "Not far from here. You?"  
We start walking again. "Same," I don't know what to say to break the awkward silence. An apology, maybe? "Tegan...About what happened," Here we go, here come the questions. "We don't have to do anything. I understand you have some unfinished business and I don't want to make it even harder for you." She looks at me and smiles sweetly. This girl really is something special.  
"Thank you." I say and smile back. Anna takes my hand in hers and begins to sway them slightly as we walk. I giggle at how cute we must look - our cheeks are red from the cold, we're wearing parkas and playing with our linked, mitten-clad hands.  
"You know, it doesn't even feel like a couple or lovers, the feeling seems sisterly to me." Anna says and I agree.  
"It does feel like sisters, even though I've never had one. You have siblings, right?" I ask her.  
She nods. "Two older brothers and one younger sister. How come you don't have any?" I chew on my lower lip, thinking.  
I know I could trust her and tell her about my family. I've only told Lindsey about this.  
"My mother said she had an abortion before she had me. Hearing this broke my heart but I try to understand her reasons. My father knocked her up and then left her all alone only to come back 15 years later to tell her he's staying, make me and then leave again."  
Anna squeezes my hand tighter in a comforting manner. "I'm sorry," She says quietly. "Have you met him?"  
I shake my head. "No, my mother wouldn't let me. She said that no good would come out of it." We reach my house and I let go of her hand.  
"That's my stop," I smile at her. "Thank you for everything, Anna. You're an amazing friend."  
She nods. "Anytime," I hug her tightly and don't let go for a while. Her embrace is calming and warm. "About that Sara girl, she was really something special, huh?" She asks.  
"Yeah," I pull away and look down at my feet. "She was. Too bad she can't see that herself."  
Anna pats my shoulder. "It's Ms. Quin, isn't it?" She asks and I stop breathing.  
"No," I say, trying to save myself from condemnation. "That would be sick."  
Anna laughs and shakes her head. "Come on now, it's okay. We can't help what we feel," I look at her in disbelief.  
"I have a plan how to get her to like you back. But first you need to tell me what's going on." I nod and invite her in.  
Maybe it's the beautiful Spring weather that gives me too much hope and trust, but I smile widely as we go to my room, actually believing her that everything will be alright.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

"What did the doctor say?" I ask, holding the phone against my ear with the shoulder.  
"The baby's fine, everything is okay." I hear Emy's voice reply and smile.  
"Did you find out the gender?" I ask and go through the stack of papers on my desk, trying to find the right worksheets.  
"Not yet," Emy says. "It's too early to tell. I'm going to the store, what do you want for dinner?" She asks.  
"You." I say simply, not interested in anything, and open the door to hallway. The bell is about to ring and students are walking around everywhere.  
"Remember that thing you did last time with your tongue...I'm soaked just by the thought of it," Emy moans. "Come home faster, baby."  
I chuckle and stop on the way to my class to read the bullentin board. Apparently there's a carnival on Friday night.  
From what I've heard, it's a school's annual tradition. Why, ask the school's sassy, gay activity planner.  
The bell rings and I finish reading. "I'm out honey, I'm out." I tell Emy and she laughs. "Promise you'll do it tonight." She says.  
"I always do, love. Until you're sore." She gasps and I hang up, smiling.  
As I turn to my right, I almost walk into something a bit shorter than me.  
"Jesus," I step back and look at the scared girl. "Tegan!"  
She lets out a short breath, looking amused.  
"Flirting with your wife in broad daylight?" She asks as if she was talking to one of her friends instead of a faculty member and I blush.  
"Go to class." I laugh and say, waving my papers at her. She grins before turning around. I don't know if it's on purpose, but she sways her perfect round bum right in front of me as she walks and I can't tear my eyes away.  
Stop it, Sara! You're married for fuck's sake, stop looking at this underage girl. The girl whose virginity you took and then whose heart you broke. A million thoughts run through my head during the short period of time. She seems fixed now, I notice as we get to the classroom. She bends over the chair to put her bag down on the floor, her ass presented to me.  
_Damn, her cunt was so tight. And sweet. Sweeter than my wif_- Stop it!  
"So," I clear my throat and wait until everyone has taken their seats. "Today we're going to do a very important test. I really hope you all have studied for it."  
I start to walk around the class, handing out the papers. When I reach Tegan's table and put the sheet on her desk, she reaches out to take it, making her fingers touch mine briefly.  
That was totally on purpose, what is she doing?  
I look down at her and she bites her bottom lip and blinks, showing off her long dark eyelashes. _This girl is trying to kill me_, I think as I walk back to my desk and open the top button on the collar of my shirt. Is it just me or is it suddenly hot in here?  
Trying to focus on something else, I open my laptop and start reading news. After a minute, I give in and look at Tegan.  
She's writing, her right hand pressing against the side of her chest, making her breasts push together and appear at the top of her V-neck shirt. Alright, the news...The pope quits and there is horse meat in European meat products, imagine that.  
Maybe if I just peek a little? She's holding the pen under her button nose as a moustache, looking down. So adorable.  
_Okay, okay, focus, Sara..._


	11. Body Work

Sara's P.O.V.

"Who are you going to be, honey?" Emy asks from the couch while watching me grade the tests.  
I scratch the back of my head and think about it. The party is tomorrow night and I haven't picked out a costume yet.  
"I don't know, have any ideas?" I ask her. She nods slowly.  
"Marble Hornets," Emy says and I burst out laughing. "Come on, it will be fun."  
I shake my head and write down another "B".  
"It's not Halloween, though. And I wouldn't want to wear white pantyhose on my head." I say and move on to Tegan's test. "I don't know what to do then. But you would make a perfect Slenderman. You're pale, thin and have a black suit that makes you so fucking hot. And no pantyhose." Emy says and twirls her hair between her fingers.  
I chuckle and check Tegan's answers. They're all wrong in general, but the approach is right and logical. What is going on with her? I write down a sad "F" and put the sheets away to my briefcase.  
"Slenderman it is then," I say and join her on the couch. "Thank you," I kiss her cheek and place my hands on her hips.  
"How are you feeling?" I ask.  
"Good," Emy pecks me on the lips. "What are we going to name him or her?" She asks.  
"I don't know..." I get to my knees on the floor in front of her and lift her shirt up. The bump is quite small but I kiss her soft skin over it anyway.  
"I love you, baby," I whisper, my lips against her stomach. "You, too, other baby." I tell Emy, kissing around her cheeks. Emy giggles and tries to escape from my kisses. Her laugh reminds me of something...Someone. I lean in to capture her lips. They begin to work roughly against mine, they feel nothing like _her_ soft kisses felt. I pull away and sigh.  
I won't admit it. I couldn't.  
"Have you picked out any names?" I ask, laying down on the couch, and turn on the TV. She snuggles closer to my body and I wrap my arms around her. "Clarissa for a girl...Daniel for a boy." She says.  
I kiss the nape of her neck lovingly. "I really like those."  
Her skin is not burning up like _hers_, it doesn't smell like hers nor looks or feels so soft.  
Why am I even thinking of this anyway? The whole situation is so absurd. It's really not like I'm into her. I'm not. If I was I wouldn't be here with my wife...Right? I need to figure this out.

* * *

_I still wanna see you tonight, will you be around? I still wanna get you alone, will you be around? Can I take all the steps that I m planning tonight, without risking it all? Can I make all the moves I'm making tonight, without hurting you bad?_

I watch kids dance around to the song in the dark ceremonial hall and bite my lip nervously. Some of them are just grinding their privates against each other. Is that even allowed in schools? My eyes travel over the people to the corner of the room where the party planner is standing in all his glory; wearing a sparkling pantsuit and big, white angel wings. This school is awesome.  
The song makes me think of my plan for the night. Is it really worth it? I suppose I just _have to_ find out or I'll be confused for the rest of my life, thinking of what could have been.  
"I like your tie," Her sweet voice says behind me and I turn around. My jaw drops to the floor. "Hey." She says like there's nothing unusual about her. I look down at her small body and feel a kick in my core.  
She's wearing a short, white button down shirt that shows off her breasts, a miniskirt, black stockings and ballerina flats.  
"What...What are you supposed to be?" I ask her, trying to drag my eyes back up to her face again.  
She giggles and looks down at her feet. "I'm from t.A.T.u.!" She says and points to someone across the room. "There's the other half of the band, my friend Lindsey." Next to her friend I see Anna, looking like a porn star with the bright pink dress and long blonde hair.  
"I thought you were an anime schoolgirl, not a russian lesbian," I say and she sweeps her tongue over her bottom lip, smiling. "Anyway, what the heck is Anna?" I ask and turn to one of the tables to grab two drinks. I hand Tegan one and once again, she lets her fingers linger on mine for a second before removing her hand. She laughs and takes a sip. "She's a real life Barbie doll."  
I slap my forehead. "Right, how silly of me." Tegan smirks and I see someone walking to us from the corner of my eye.  
"Tee, come dance with me!" Lindsey whines, pulling Tegan's arm. "You're my lesbian half, people won't understand the costume unless we're together!" She suddenly notices my presence and blushes. "Whoopsie."  
Tegan just laughs at her awkwardness. It seems like she's planning to go so I think fast.  
"Actually," I say, looking into Tegan's brown eyes. "I have to talk to miss Clement about her last test, it was very unfortunate." Lindsey nods slowly."Okay, I'll see you later then." She lets go of Tegan and winks at her before going back to the dancefloor.  
"What about my test?" Tegan asks and sets down her drink. I follow suit and push my now free hands to the pockets of my pants.  
"Come to my office and I'll show you just how ridiculous it was." I try to sound as formal as I can.  
"Alright." She says and we head to the exit. The hallway is almost as dark as the room was, but it's chilly. We go up the stairs, still hearing the loud music.  
"Oh, I forgot to ask," Tegan says, leaning against the wall as I unlock the door to my office. "Who are you?"  
I hold the door open for her and grin as she walks in.

"I'm the Slenderman." I pull the door closed behind my back and lock it.


	12. Wrong

Sara's P.O.V.

"I'm the Slenderman." I say and lock the door.  
Tegan turns around to look at me in the dark room. "What's going on?" She asks, her voice shaking.  
I walk past her to my desk, shrugging. Is she scared of me? Or is it just my costume?  
I open the top drawer and take out her test. I hold it under the moonlight that shines in, towering over the forest outside.  
"Is that it?" She asks, pointing at the sheet in my hands. I nod and tell her to take a seat. She sits down, one of her legs going over the other. My breathing stops for a second when I see her smooth, pale thigh showing above the stocking.

I clear my throat and start reading the questions and her answers.  
"Explain the contribution of America to help countries fighting in the First World War," I read and she listens, eyes wide. "And then there's what you wrote: "America didn't do much in the war until the end, when they swoop in to win the war and get the glory.""  
Tegan looks at me innocently and bites her lip. I look back at the test and grin.  
"Alright, here's my favorite one: "How and when did the war end?" Apparently, "Some time ago because God wanted that way.""  
I put the sheet away and walk closer to her.

"You want to know what I think?" I ask, looking down at her. Tegan rolls her eyes and licks her lips. "I think you did that on purpose. That is not acceptable."  
I reach to the collar of her white shirt with my right hand and grip it. I'm not going to hold back anymore.  
"I think what you need is a...Nice, hard punishment." A shaky breath escapes from between Tegan's lips and she looks at me like a deer in the headlights. I pull her up by her collar and she gasps. Holding on to her hips, I lean closer to her.  
"Bend over the desk." I whisper sternly in her ear.  
I pull away from her and wait. She looks confused and doesn't move.  
"W-what?" She asks shyly. I grab her waist and turn her around.  
"You heard me," I shove her against the table and push her back lower. "Bend. Over."  
She rests her front on my desk, her bum pushed out. I thrust my hips once to her backside and she starts to pant heavily.

"Now, Tegan," I say softly and run my hands up and down her back. "Would you be a good girl and tell me when did the First World War end?" I keep my left hand on her hip and smack her ass hard with the right one. "Ahh," She gasps out and bucks her hips. I slap her right cheek again and she yelps. "November...11th...1918."  
I lift her short skirt up and lick my lips as I see her underwear clad round ass. "Good girl," I say and rub the sting out of her cheeks. "Say, Tegan, what is this?" I pull the side of her panties and let it snap back against her skin. "It's...Uhh...Underwear." She mumbles quietly.  
I spank her roughly again and she whines. "What was that?" I ask and squeeze her fleshy cheeks.  
"Underwear, Ms. Quin." She moans and I smirk.

"I'll tell you what," I whisper and slide my fingers under the fabric, slowly pulling the pink cloth down her soft thighs.  
"I'll consider your test an A...If," I help her step out of the underwear. "You promise to stop wearing these things to my class or when you come to see me."  
She turns around and looks at me as I put the panties to the inside pocket of my suit.  
"I promise." She says and bites her bottom lip. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into a deep kiss. Tegan puts one of her hands on my chest and the other one grips my hair gently. I hold her warm body close against mine and revel in the feeling of her soft tongue and lips. This is so wrong but feels so right.  
She pulls away to breathe and smiles a little. I smirk back at her.

"There's one more demand," I say and take a step back. "Kneel," She looks at me, confused but does as I say. "Good...Now,"  
I unzip my pants and pull out a brand new strap on I bought just for her. "You have to earn that A."  
Tegan looks shocked. Her eyes stare into mine, begging silently. For what, I don't know. If she wanted to go, she would.  
I stroke her hair gently with my right hand and hold the toy up erect with the other hand.  
She licks her lips and shyly takes the fake cock in her mouth. Her tongue and lips work wonders over it while her hand grips the base and smashes it against my clit. "Is this the first time you're doing this?" I ask her and let out a husky moan.  
She pulls the dick out of her mouth and nods. She's so innocent. I can't wait to take that away.  
"Wow," I chuckle. "You're a natural."  
Tegan wipes a bit of saliva from the corner of her mouth with her thumb and smiles again. She stands up and leans in slowly,  
as if she was too shy to kiss me first. I return to the pressure of her lips, encouraging her to be braver with her movements.  
I back her up against the desk again, my hands going down to grip her bare ass. I lift her to sit of the table and spread her legs with my hips. She lets me between the two and I can smell her sweet sex already.  
I unbutton her shirt and slide it off her shoulders. She unhooks her pink bra herself and lets it drop to the floor.  
Her gorgeous breasts are exposed to me once again after a month and I start to drool.

"Sara?" She whispers and cups my jaw, making me look in her eyes. "Don't throw me away again."


	13. Hurt

**Author's note: Thank you all for reading! It means a lot. If you want to be friends with me on tumblr, send me a PM.**

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

"Sara?" I whisper and cup her jaw, making her look in my eyes. "Don't throw me away again." I beg.  
The sorrow washes over her face and I've never seen anyone look so repentant. "I'm sorry." She whispers and strokes my cheek gently with her fingertips. She must have other things to regret, too.  
Her wife is at home, pregnant and waiting for her. I'm the bad person here. I want her to cheat on her wife with me.  
How did I end up here? I'm so selfish.  
"I," I turn away from her touch and push her away gently. "I can't do this." I slide my legs close and hop off her desk.  
Sara looks confused and takes a hold of my wrist.  
"Tegan, what's wrong?" She asks quietly.  
I sniffle, feeling tears slide down my cheeks. "This is not right, I can't let you cheat on your wife." I say and head to the door.  
Her hold on my wrists tightens and she pulls me back. It's hurting me and I wince but I know that it wasn't her purpose.  
"I'm sorry," She says again and wraps her arms around me. "Don't go. Please." She whispers and I rest my head on her chest.  
I hear her heart beating rapidly against my ear. We've never been so close before. So emotional, so caring.  
"Stay." She says and pulls back to look at my face. When her brown eyes connect with mine, I'm vulnerable. She's so worth it. My regret, guilt and all the tears.  
Her hands hold my hips gently and I feel the toy press against my thigh. "It's okay." Sara whispers and leans closer to me.  
I feel her fresh breath on my lips and close my eyes. She brings one of her hands up to cup my jaw and connects our lips.  
She kisses me tenderly and backs me against the desk. I let her lift me on it once again but this time she pushes me down on my back, never breaking the kiss. She spreads my legs and starts caressing the skin over my chest.  
I run my hands through her soft hair and moan. Her lips move lower and lower on my body until she's between my open legs.  
Before she can take a good look, she removes my shoes and stockings. Soon she's back between the two, looking right at my centre.  
I gulp nervously and she notices. "Relax," She whispers, her lips against my soft inner thigh. Sara pushes my short skirt up,  
revealing all of me to her. "You're beautiful." She says and kisses my clit. I jerk from the pleasure and hit my head against the hard wood of the table.  
Sara gets up immediately and takes off her blazer. She walks to the other side of the table and lifts my head.  
"Be careful." She says and puts the jacket under my head as a pillow. She bends down and kisses me before going back.  
I spread my legs wide again, welcoming her. Asking her to enter me, be inside of me.  
She hooks her arms around my thighs and buries her face in my pussy. Her tongue works rapidly over my clit and I arch my back.  
The pleasure becomes unbearable but I imagine Sara with her wife and kid against my will. Tears stream down my face and my moans mix with my cries. "Don't cry." Sara murmurs. The feeling of her lips moving against my wet folds sends shivers down my spine.  
Her tongue circles my entrance and I beg for her desperately. She gives me what I want by sliding her tongue inside of me.  
She wiggles it and I try to hold back my screams. I put my hands on her head and push her face deeper to me, making her tongue go in farther. The wet feeling of my juices running down my smooth folds and her damp tongue working inside my soft walls drives me wild. I'm about to cum when she pulls away and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "Why did you..." My eyes tarvel lower and I spot the strap on. "Stop...?" I realize what's about to happen and I panic.  
I've never had anything bigger than two fingers inside of me and even though the dildo is not so thick, it still scares me.  
Sara notices my worry again and strokes my thighs up and down.  
"It's alright, Tegan. I won't hurt you." She smiles a little and raises two of her fingers to my lips.  
I take them in my mouth, getting them wet. While I run my tongue over the digits, Sara's other hand takes a hold of the fake cock.  
She brings the tip to my clit and circles it slowly. My mouth opens to let out moans and she removes her fingers.  
They trace my wet entrance and push in slowly. I feel the painful pressure of being filled but soon the pleasure takes over my body.  
I feel my walls wrap tightly around her fingers as she starts pumping them in and out. I don't open my eyes when she takes them out and starts running the cock over my slit, getting it wet. My breaths come out rugged and I feel her fingers spread my inner lips apart. She places the cold silicone tip at my entrance and pushes in just a little. I gasp and she takes the hand that held my folds to hold my own hand. I squeeze it tightly as she slides the dick in farther. It hurts really bad but I don't want her to stop. Tears flow freely now and I hold in my sobs. "We can stop." She whispers and pauses all the movement. I shake my head and lift my hips, making the toy sink into me by another inch. She gets the whole thing in carefully and slowly and waits for me to get used to it.  
I take deep breaths, trying to ignore the pain in my cunt. I don't understand how straight girls do it.  
She wets three of her fingers in her mouth and brings them down to my clit. She rubs slow circles on it and it seems to work.  
I loosen up and start to feel pleasure from being so full. "That's it," Sara says when she hears me moan. "Good girl."  
She starts to move her hips slowly, pulling the whole cock out until only the tip remains and then pushing back in.  
My back arches off the table and I spread my legs even wider. Her moves get faster and rougher with every thrust up my tight cunt. Her hands hold my hips, pulling me to meet her dick. I slide my hands sensually over my chest to my stomach, giving her a show. I pull my skirt up higher so I can see what's going on between my open legs. The flesh colored toy is sliding in and out of me, glistening with my juices.  
Sara starts panting and moaning, she must be getting close. Since she doesn't have any direct friction besides the base of the strap on hitting her clit, I decide to help her with visuals.  
My left hand goes to rub my clit while the right one squeezes my breast of the same side. "Mmmmmm, Sara..." I moan loudly and throw my head back, closing my eyes.  
I hear her mutter something about Jesus and feel her getting faster. The sound of the cock moving in and out of my wet walls is almost as good as seeing it do so.  
"Are you close?" She asks, breathing heavily. I look up at her and moan at the sight. The skinny black tie is flying up and down her chest with every thrust, the veins in her neck are visible through the slightly sweaty skin and her dark eyes sparkle with lust.  
"Y-yes," I moan, my voice cracking. "Harder. Fuck me harder." I beg for the pain. I deserve to be hurt, I'm ruining her life.  
She improves her moves and slams the toy into me rapidly. "Ohhhh," I gasp, feeling my thighs becoming numb from being hit with her hips. "That's it...Ahhhh," I don't even try to hold back my moans and screams anymore. "Saraaaa!" I rub my clit faster and open my eyes. I want to see her when I cum.  
She bites her lip and thrusts into me harder than ever before. My back arches as the waves of pleasure crash over me and I lock my legs behind her back.  
"Oh, oh, Sara...Mmm...Sar..." I don't even know or control what I'm saying as my eyes close and I hear her finish, too, with a husky "Tegan."  
I can't think or move, I just enjoy cloud nine, my hands resting on my inner thighs. I feel the reward of her hard work pour out from around the cock and drip to the table under my bum.  
Sara slides her hands under my back and pulls me up against her clothed front. I keep my ankles closed behind her lower back,  
locking her between my open legs. We're both panting hard. She looks into my eyes, not saying anything.  
Her arms wrap around me and I rest my hands on her chest. I take a hold of her tie and pull her closer into a kiss.


	14. Teacher's Pet

Sara's P.O.V.

Tegan kisses me deeply while gripping my tie. I wrap my arms around her and hold her body close to my front.  
I'm glad I gave in and dropped my guilt and morals. The moment I tasted her on my tongue again, I knew I had made the right choice. She pulls away to breathe and rests her head on my shoulder. I stroke her hair gently and kiss her cheek.  
"You alright?" I ask. Tegan hums and nods.  
I look at her beautiful face in the moonlight. For the first time I notice how long and dark her curled eyelashes are,  
the small birthmark on her cheek, how the corner of her mouth twitches when she smiles slightly, how she wiggles her nose when her long bangs fall to her face...She's gorgeous. Her appearance wakes something deep inside of me,  
it's like hunger that can't be satisfied. I need to have her again and again.  
"Don't get too comfortable." I whisper and she lifts her head, making a "Hmm?" sound.  
"I'm not done with you yet." I say and reach my hand down. She cries out as I start to pull the toy slowly out of her tight walls.  
We both watch in astonishment how the glistening cock slides out with small pop, a trail of her cum connecting the head to her pink, swollen entrance.  
"Turn around," I command and she gets on her shaking legs, turning her back to me. "Bend over." She gets on her stomach to the table, pushing her skirt covered bum out.  
I run my hands up and down her silky back, feeling her tremble under my gentle touch. How did I go for so long without getting to touch her soft skin or smell her excitement?  
I push her skirt up just enough to see her shaved, dripping wet lips. One of my hands holds onto her hip, the other one gets a good hold of the cock and runs it over her slit. Tegan whimpers and sways her round ass. I slap her right cheek with the toy and tell her to raise her hips more. She bends as far as she can and begs me to take her. I place the cock at her entrance and start to push in slowly. She gasps in pain and I stop moving. I just fucked her, how can she still be so tight?  
I place kisses on her back, moving south. I get on my knees and start eating her out, my hands pulling her hips closer to my face. Avoiding her sensitive clit, I slide my tongue in and out of her pussy.  
"Sara!" She moans and bucks her hips, riding my tongue. "I'm ready, please!"  
I stand up and push the dick roughly into her, without a warning. Tegan lets out a scream mixed with pain and pleasure.  
I pull her ass to meet my front, filling her to the brim. "Is this what you want?" I growl and start pounding into her from behind.  
"Yesss, ohhh, don't stop!" She breathes out and holds onto the table. My hands rest on the small of her back as I thrust my hips rapidly. We don't have much time left until people notice we're gone.  
"Is this what gets you off?" I ask between panting. "Your teacher fucking you roughly from behind?" She moans louder than ever before. "Yes, uhhh...Fuck me, professor, fuck me hard!" My eyes go wide at the change in her behaviour and I ram into her fragile cunt with all my strength.  
"Is this going to stop you from acting out?" I slap her fleshy left cheek and move one of my hands to rub her clit.  
"Do I have to fuck you until you're a sore little whore every time you break the rules?" She moans at my words and nods eagerly.  
"Y-yes!" Tegan cries out. "Teach me a lesson."  
I grip her soft hips hard, my nails pressing to her skin as I give her all of me as fast as humanly possible. Tegan curses and moans under me, her sensual gasps sending kicks to my clit. I feel my orgasm approaching, so I rub her clit in rapid circles.  
"Mmmhh...Harder, professor!" She screams. I don't think I can go any faster or harder but I try anyway, my left hand sliding under her stomach to pull her up against me. She leans on the table with her palms as I keep pounding into her from sharper angle. Tegan keeps panting and moaning but it's still not enough for her.  
"Make me bleed, destroy me..." She whispers with a sexy voice. "I want to feel you for a week." Does she really like it that rough? I'm too close to think about it, so I pull out, ignoring her whimpers of loss. I lift her to sit on the table and push her to her back. I plunge the cock back in, hearing her let out a quiet sob of discomfort.  
I hook my arms around her thighs and pull her legs to rest on my shoulders, her ass on the edge of the desk. I start pumping in and out again while rubbing her clit as fast as I can.  
"Cum for your teacher, pet." I growl when I'm about to come. All it takes to reach the peak is seeing her sweaty body squirming underneath me. I keep fucking her while I cum and bite my lip, admiring her slender neck and heavy breasts moving up and down with each breath.  
Her back arches off the bed and it gets harder to move the cock inside of her as her walls clench it tighter.  
"Saaaraaaa!" She screams louder than I'd like in this public place.  
I pull out quickly, seeing her squirt. "Fuck..." I moan and bend down to lick her clean as soon as she stops trembling.  
I run my tongue over her warm slit, reveling in the softness. I take her labia lips between my lips and suck gently.  
"Sa...aaahhh," She says, her voice cracking. "I can't...No more..."  
I decide to have mercy on her and return to my full height. She sits up quickly and smashes her lips to mine. After a few minutes of slow and lazy kissing, I pull away. Why do all the good things go by so fast?  
"We have to go back." I whisper, resting my forehead on hers.  
"I don't want to." She says and rubs her nose against mine. I laugh at her cuteness and pull away.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

Sara helps me get dressed again, kissing random parts of my body between the task. My plan worked. However, I still don't know what happens next. I don't want to ruin our high, so I skip asking about it tonight. "I should be bad more often." I giggle as she buttons my white shirt up.  
"Yeah?" She smiles and helps me off the table. "Try to walk."  
As soon as my legs collide with the floor again, I feel like falling. "Whoa," Her hands catch me before I slip down.  
"I'm so sore." I say and cling to her body.  
"You were the one who wanted it hard." She says, hugging me. I did want it hard. I wanted it to hurt, I needed to be taught a lesson. I deserved to feel pain while being with a married woman.  
"Mmmhmmm..." I hum sleepily against her chest, breathing in her wonderful scent.  
"Come on now," She pulls back and walks to the door. "We have to go." I follow her to the dark and empty hallway, feeling pain with each step. Having no underwear doesn't really help,  
I feel cold and exposed. I wish we could just stay in private and cuddle.  
Instead, we head back to the hall. The party is about to end, everyone are dancing to the final song. "Tegan!" I hear Lindsey shout behind me and turn around. Sara walks away quickly, not saying anything. "Where have you been?" Lindsey asks, concerned.  
"I wasn't feeling well." I say the first thing that comes to my head, hoping she'll buy it.  
"Wanna go home?" She asks and takes a hold of my waist. "It's pretty boring here." I nod and she guides me downstairs before I can decide if I should go tell Sara "Goodbye" or not. We get our coats and head out.  
Lindsey offers to send me home and starts talking about what people did or said, also mentioning rumours about Ms. Quin.  
"What's up now?" I ask curiously. What if somebody saw us?  
"Oh, people are just talking about her and her wife moving away once the baby is born. But I don't think that's going to happen, she has a job here," What I hear is rather unpleasant and I start to get that feeling of slight panic and depression in my gut. That annoying feeling that keeps bothering you, reminding you about your problems whenever you feel happy. The feeling that you get when you're afraid of what might happen. "Did she spoke to you about your test or something?" She asks and brings me out of my thoughts.  
"Yeah, I messed everything up but she changed it to A as I told her the right answers." I lie.  
"You're so smart, Tee, you have to teach me." She laughs and makes us walk arm-in-arm.  
I let her send me home, trying to focus on her gossiping. But deep inside, I knew something was wrong. I knew things were going to change. And the part that confused me the most was...Can I do something about it?


	15. Sinning

Tegan's P.O.V.

"No way!" Anna says and giggles. I nod and hide my face in my hands.  
"Way," I whisper and raise my head to look around the cafeteria. I see the back of Sara's head and imagine it bobbing between my legs from someone else's perspective. I throw the idea out of my head before I can get too carried away. "Twice..."  
Anna gasps and turns her head to look at Sara. She bites her lip and shakes her head, smiling. "Wow. I wish I was you." She says and we laugh loudly.  
"Why so?" Lindsey asks and lets her bag drop to the ground. Anna and I put on poker faces as Lindsey sits down.  
"Oh, nothing..." Anna says and twirls her blonde hair around her fingers.  
Lindsey raises an eyebrow and makes an annoyed "Hm" sound. I feel bad for not telling her about the thing with Sara but I'm just so scared. Lindsey has been my friend ever since we were kids and that's why her opinion matters to me. I know she'd be cool about it and maybe even encourage me but something feels off. She doesn't want to hang out with us anymore, like we're not good enough for her. She only goes to raves, gets drunk and then fucks some guy she doesn't even know.  
"What are you going to do during Spring break?" Anna asks her after a short awkward silence.  
"I don't know. Probably hang out with Tyler and his friends." Lindsey says and sips her soda.  
"You two aren't going to hang out?" Anna asks, gesturing towards me. I look at Lindsey. She avoids my eyes and shrugs.  
"I don't know. I guess not." She says simply.  
"Linds, Tyler is a sadistic homophobe!" I say, clearly hurt by her actions. It feels like she prefers him over me now.  
Lindsey shrugs again. "So what, everyone has a right to their own opinion." Anna and I look at each other in disbelief. "Um...I don't think it's an opinion. It's called being an asshole." I say harshly. "Whatever, get over it already." Lindsey says with a bitchy tone and gets up. Anna and I look at her leave the cafeteria before finally speaking.  
"What...Was that?" Anna asks me, her eyes wide.  
I shake my head. Lindsey has changed so much ever since she started going to raves and met new people who, let's be honest,  
weren't really smart or mature. They drank, took random drugs and fucked everything that moved.  
"Maybe she's having a bad day. I have no idea..." I muse, trying not to give up on her.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

"Good afternoon, don't sit down yet," I tell the students.  
They look at me, slightly confused. I look over the faces quickly, taking time to smile to the short brunette and then move on.  
"Is everyone here now?" I ask after the door closes behind the last person coming in. They nod and I pick up the DVD from my desk. "Since it's the last day before the break, we're going to watch a movie." I announce. Kids cheer and start walking towards the video room. Tegan moves slowly to stay behind and watch me lock the classroom door.  
When I look up at her she just smiles sweetly and turns around, walking away. I will never understand this girl.  
As I finally enter the almost pitch black room with a flatscreen TV, I hear someone laugh and say: "Sorry, Tee, but you snooze, you lose!"  
Tegan's giggle reaches my ears but I can't locate her in the dark. I pop the DVD into the player and fumble with buttons on the remote until the menu comes on the screen.  
"So, we're going to watch "Hiroshima", I hope you all know the background story." I say and press play.  
"Is this anime? Sounds asian." Some girl asks her friend and I want to slap myself across the forehead.  
"You must be joking." I say quietly and shake my head, walking towards the end of the room to sit on the lonely couch next to the wall. But somebody has already claimed it.  
Tegan smirks and pats the spot next to her. I look over to other students and notice that all the seats are taken. Is that why she was being so slow earlier? But how did she know the number of the seats? She is just full of surprises.  
I sit down next to her and feel butterflies in my stomach. I've never been this excited to just sit next to someone, not even my wife. I try to keep Emy and the baby out of my head and look over at Tegan.  
She's biting her lip and looking at the movie, the light of the TV slightly glowing on her face. She turns to me and licks her lips. "I kept my promise," She whispers and takes a hold of my hand. "Want to make sure?" I let her guide my hand to her jeans while I nervously keep an eye on the students, in case someone decides to look back.  
Tegan presses my hand to the crotch of her jeans and I can feel her warmth under my palm. Desperately wanting to feel her directly on my skin, I move my fingers up to unbotton her jeans.  
She removes her own hand and raises her backpack to her knees, shielding her lap. Again, smart move, Tegan. Why didn't I think of that?  
We both stare right ahead as my hand slips inside of her pants. I supress a moan when I feel her smooth labia lips on my fingertips. She did keep her promise. I gently slide my middle finger over her slit and rub slow circles on her clit.  
Tegan's hips move on the sofa and her grip on her bag tightens. I take a small peek in her direction. She's basically abusing her lip now, biting down so hard it might start bleeding. However, her eyes stay on the screen.  
I turn back to the students and rub faster. Her juices soak my fingers but I don't mind, I want to be able to smell her for the rest of the day before I have to go home.  
I feel her clit twitch under my digits and increase the pressure. She rides out her orgasm without making a sound. "Good girl," I lean towards her and whisper quietly in her ear. "You will be rewarded."  
She smiles at me and I remove my hand. While Tegan does the buttons, I make sure no one is watching and bring my fingers to my lips. I hold them in a way one would think I'm chewing on my cuticles, nervous because of the movie, when in reality,  
I'm licking off Tegan's sweet fluids. She tastes too good to wipe away.

* * *

I take the DVD out and say goodbye to everyone. The door clicks shut and I look around the room. We're alone. Tegan stands up and walks to me. "Thank you." She whispers and pecks me on the lips. She turns away, ready to leave when I take a hold of her wrist.  
"Tegan," I bring her to stand in front of me again. "What are you doing during the break?" I ask.  
She shrugs. "Nothing, why?"  
I know this is risky and I'm taking my sinning to a whole new level, but the opportunity is too good to pass up.  
"Come spend a few days at my place." I say and observe her reaction. Her brown eyes go wider and her one of her hands comes up to stroke her neck. "Uhh...I...Where's your wife?" She asks shyly.  
"Visiting her family for a week. It would be just you and me," I say and step closer to her. I lift her chin and look her in the eyes. "I'd like you to come." The change in my behaviour must have startled her because she isn't replying.  
"I won't treat you badly again, I promise." I say and trace her soft cheek with the tips of my fingers.  
She sighs and finally cracks a small smile.  
"Alright."


	16. Build the wall

**I'm sorry for the wait, had to go to a funeral and all. And I'm also sorry for not making this break the way you all thought it was going to be. Too much good is bad, right.**

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

I look around the luxurious apartment, wondering what am I doing here and why.  
She didn't even have the decency to remove the photos of her wife from the cupboards. Or she just doesn't care.  
From the moment I stepped in, I knew I had made a huge mistake. What are we going to do? We don't have anything to talk about and it's physically impossible to have sex for 24 hours straight. I thank my mother for not letting me stay at "Anna's" for longer. Apparently she has to meet up with an old friend of hers and wants me to stay at home, in case something happens. She said I could bring "Anna" with me, which I plan to do but with the real Anna.

Sara wasn't very pleased when I told her I would only be staying for a day but she still kindly told me to make myself at home and feel free to look around while she finishes her work. She's sitting at the desk in the corner of the living room, absorbed in a stack of papers.

I look at the photos on the bookcase, there's many of people who I think are her parents, friends and family. However, there is only one photo with Sara herself; a shot from her wedding. She's wearing a black blazer and a white button down shirt with what I'm pretty sure are usual tight black jeans. Her wife stands next to her in a white, mermaid style dress.  
She's gorgeous. Her hair looks kinda like mine but a bit longer and she's curvier and taller than me. While the look on her wife's face shows happiness and love, Sara's face is rather emotionless. She's trying to force a small smile with the corner of her mouth but her expression seems pained. Her eyes are sad and tired. Much like they still look during some days. I can't help but wonder what it is that makes her so miserable. Is it her wife? Is it me? Or is it just stress?

"I'm done," I hear her voice behind me, coming closer. "What are you looking at?" She asks, her voice almost cheerful.  
I motion to the photo with my index finger. Sara stands closer to me, her side against my side, to look at the picture.  
"She's really pretty." I say about her wife. "What's her name?"  
Sara smiles sadly and for the first time since I've looked at her face from this short distance, I see a few, faint wrinkles on the corner of her eye. But she's still extremely beautiful.  
"Emy. And yes, she sure is." She says and looks at the photo, not daring to remove her eyes from Emy's face. I would think she can't even look at her in real life because of what she has done behind her back, but I guess I'm wrong. Does Sara not feel any guilt or shame because of it?  
"Then why are you doing this to her?" I ask quietly with caution. I need to know what's causing her to act like this.

Sara sighs and goes to lie down on one side of the couch that's shaped like a boomerang.  
"You tell me." She whispers sadly and I feel my guilt increasing.

"Are you saying that I'm forcing you into it?" I ask and lie down on the other side, my head going across hers.  
She's once again so close but I still can't see her when we're talking. It's almost like she's afraid to look at me, but not her wife.  
"No," She says without hesitation. "But you're not actually helping either." She takes a moment to think and then continues.  
"Tegan, you're driving me wild. I don't even know who I am anymore. This is not me, I don't cheat physically. I'm not unfaithful but I will stray eventually, of course, but to go crazy over a teenager..." Her voice fades.  
I look up at the white ceiling and try to wrap my mind around what she said.  
"You came like this evil vixen or a water-nymph, seducing me. I don't even understand what do you expect from me but you pull me under, deeper...And I'm becoming even more of a mess." Sara muses.  
I've never heard her talk so much or so openly and I feel some of the ice between us breaking. We're actually talking about this. Maybe not face to face like it should be, but at least still talking.  
"I'm sorry," I apologize. "I want you to know that I'm not doing whatever you think I'm doing on purpose. I don't want you to have problems and it literally kills me, the knowing that I'm making you cheat..." I close my eyes, trying to shake the image of her wife sitting on the spot that I'm in right now, holding their baby, out of my head.  
"You're not making me do anything. You're tempting me. But I'm still acting on my own free will." Sara says.  
"So what's going to happen now?" I ask.  
"I don't know, Tegan." She sighs. We spend a few minutes in silence, both thinking hard of our possibilities.

"But do you...I don't know...Want this to go on?" I ask, still a bit unsure.  
"I don't know. Do you?" She becomes closed again and asks.  
"Not like this. But I want you." I muster up the courage I have left and admit. She needs to know this.  
"Tegan," She whispers and sits up. "This is absurd." She says and runs her fingers through her soft hair.  
I sit up, too and look at her in disbelief. She's doing this again.

"No, no, no, don't you dare to pull this again." I say sternly.  
"What?" Sara looks up, confused.  
"Whenever things get emotional or I'm talking about feelings, you close back up and put this wall in front of yourself." I tell her, looking at her stand up and walk to the window.  
"I don't know what you're talking about." She says, looking out of the window. The situation is so ludicrous and ironic, she just builds her wall higher while denying it.  
"Don't act like you're so clueless!" I say and walk to her. I grab her by her shoulders and turn her around to face me.  
"Man up already and tell me, did you want me here so you can fuck me for a week or do you feel something more?" I ask, trying to look in her eyes but she directs her gaze elsewhere.  
"Look at me, Sara!" I beg her desperately. "Please."  
"Am I only a sex toy for you?" I push the boundaries further.  
"Stop." She says and escapes from my hold.  
I sigh and look around helplessly, waiting for something.  
"Alright then," I say and walk to the hallway to get my coat and purse. "If you're going to act like a child again I'm going home." I bend down to tie my shoes and hear her walking towards me.

"Tegan, come on, I'm sorry." She says and puts her hand on my shoulder. I raise to my feet and slap her hand away.  
"Don't even bother, it's clear you don't want me the way I want you." Before she can stop me, I'm out of the door, fighting to hold back my tears.


	17. Theory

Tegan's P.O.V.

"What happened?" She asks over the phone. I hold back a sob and clear my throat.  
Stop being such a baby, Tegan, I think to myself as I lie on the mess of sheets, staring at the fairy lights.  
She doesn't want to be with you, so what? You knew this from the very beginning. You were such a fool for "love". What were you thinking? Why did you have to agree with her plan?

I turn my attention back to Anna's question about why I'm cancelling our sleepover.  
"I'm sorry. I, uh, went over to her place yesterday. I was supposed to stay the night but we started talking about...Well, us, and..." I think and play with the pink ribbons of my soft gray sweatpants. "We had disagreements."  
Anna sighs. "I'm sorry. And it's okay, don't worry about cancelling on me. I understand you might need some time alone,"  
I smile at Anna's kindness. "What were the disagreements?" She asks.  
I explain her truthfully everything that happened. For some reason, I feel like I can really trust Anna. I know we haven't been friends for a long time and she's, well, a cheerleader, but she still radiates a vibe that makes me calm. I feel like somebody always cares and listens to me.

"Oh, uh, that's pretty complicated situation you got there." She says after I'm done.  
"Yeah," I say lazily. "What about you? What are you going to do now?" I ask.  
"Hm, I don't know, watch some TV, eat chips," She giggles. "Hey, I just remembered, I was reading through Lindsey's tweets earlier and guess who has been getting wasted for every night during the break..."  
I roll my eyes. I love Lindsey, I do, but she has gone over the line. We tried to stop her and make her realize how dangerous it is for her to trust anyone and go out doing drinking without a break for her liver, but it's like water to goose feathers. Our last talk ended with her saying she knows what she's doing and how we should mind our own business. She didn't even invite us or made any plans with us, her former best friends.  
"I'm worried about her, An, like really worried." I say and she agrees.  
"Maybe it's time for another intervention?" She asks.  
"I don't know, she doesn't seem to listen to anything," I say. "Besides, she would turn the tables around somehow and place the blame on us-" The doorbell interrupts me and I jump up, scared breathless.

"What was that?" Anna asks, worried.  
"The doorbell," I say and walk out of my room to the dark hallway. "But it's like 10 pm and I'm alone...Should I go see who it is?" I ask her nervously.

"But what if it's a serial killer or some shit?" Anna panics with me. I take small and slow steps towards the staircase,  
trying not to make a sound. Maybe the killer will think nobody's home? But what if they saw the faint light coming through my curtains?  
"Oh my God, what do I do?" I ask Anna as I've reached the stairs.

"Um," She tries to think fast. "Creep up to the door and try to see from the small window who it is, but don't lift the curtain too much!" She advises.  
"Okay," I whisper to the phone and walk down the stairs in the dark. I take time while walking to the door and freeze halfway when the doorbell rings again. Shivers run down my spine and I feel my heart beating faster than the wings of a hummingbird.

I know this can't be my mom since she has the keys, so the panic is only getting worse.  
"I'm afraid to look," I tell Anna and raise a shaking hand to the curtain. "I saw this movie where this girl looked through a peephole and there was some evil Chinese chick standing there and a thin, long knife came through the hole, almost poking the girl's eye out." I babble, having a war inside of me.

"Shut the fuck up, Tegan and look already!" Anna says, her voice scared. "You're freaking me out!"  
"Okay, okay, sorry." I whisper and lift the fabric just a little to look outside.

After seeing who it is, I unlock and swing the door open immediately.  
"Thanks, Anna, it's okay, no killers." I say to the phone with relief.  
"Wait, what, who is it?" She asks. I look at Sara in the eyes and motion her to step inside.  
"Well, you know..." I say, hoping she'll get the hint.  
"Oh," Anna laughs. "I see. Have fun. Bye!" She ends the call quickly and I smile as I hang up.

My smile fades as soon as I've locked the door and turn around to face her.  
"What are you doing here?" I ask her, worried about such unannounced visit. My hair is still damp and messy from the shower and I smell strongly like the lotion I rubbed on my freshly shaved legs earlier.  
"I've been thinking..." She begins quietly, looking down at the floor.  
"Well?" I ask impatiently. Having her here makes me nervous. She's in my own environment, seeing so many things she could judge me because of. What if my room is too childish, what if I look too casual, and so on.

"Emy called me and while we were talking I realized something." She says and gives me the 'it's-going-to-be-a-long-story' look. I sigh and motion her to follow me upstairs.  
I lead her to my bedroom and watch her look around in dim light.

"Nice room," She says simply but there's no sarcasm in her tone. "May I?" She ask politely, pointing to the bed.  
"Of course," I say and sit down across her, leaning against the headboard. "So, what did you realize?"  
Sara plays with her fingers nervously and avoids looking at me.

"Emy has never noticed how I close myself sometimes. She just blames everything I do on stress and me being middle aged." She chuckles lightly and shakes her head. "I feel like she doesn't bother looking in deeper and trying to understand my reasons. Fuck, even I don't understand my reasons but you pointed it out..." She hangs her head and hides her face in her hands. "What am I even doing? Why am I doing this to you and to my wife?" She asks sadly. "What am I doing, Tegan?"  
She begs me for help.

Seeing her so helpless makes me feel bad for her and I crawl closer to her hunchbacked form. I rest my hand on her back and move it slowly up and down, trying to comfort her.  
"I have a theory but I might be wrong," I say and she looks up at me, eyes wide. "You don't like me, you just want the attention. It gives you this thrill that you need to get through the day. It's something new and stimulating, it keeps your life interesting. So maybe you're just after the feeling you get from being with somebody else, being in such immoral and illegal situation, but you're not after me. And that's why you can't talk about feelings with me because there aren't any. Deep down, you don't want to hurt me, so you avoid letting me know." I explain the first idea that comes to my head, hoping I'm actually wrong.

Sara looks at me quietly, blinks fast a few times and then looks away, confused.  
"No, that's not it," She says. "But I understand why you might feel this way."  
I touch the back of her smooth hand gently with my fingertips, afraid that she might pull away any second.

"What is it then?" I ask her.  
"I've never been open about anything, including my feelings. But I've always known how I'm supposed to feel with the 'right' woman. And Emy doesn't give me that feeling of understanding. She thinks she does, but she leaves me cold and unimpressed," She talks and lets me trace her hand freely. Maybe she didn't even notice that I'm touching her. "And then there's you...Tegan, I'm scared. You...You came so suddenly and blew me away with your knowledge and your whole being.  
You're not like the other teenagers. And I still don't know how I feel about you. You confuse me, you take away all of my previous beliefs and replace them with new ideas. This is not me." She sighs.

"Sara, I, I'm sorry, but maybe it is you," I say warily. "Whether you admit it or not, you feel what you feel and obviously you feel something towards me, too. Unless you wouldn't have kissed me first. Or fucked me while my whole class was in the same room." She turns her hand around and slides her fingers between the spaces of mine.

"Maybe you're right," She admits. "But I can't promise you anything. You have to give me time if you want something to come out of this."  
I can't believe my luck when she finally gives in.

"No matter how much I want, nothing can come out of this. You're married and will soon have a child." I say sorrowfully.  
She turns to me and cups my jaw with her free hand. "Don't be sad, Tegan." She tells me softly. "We'll figure something out."


	18. Giving

**I suggest you turn off all the bright lights and listen to „Strange Attractor" by Animal Kingdom. **

**Also, thank you Angel for the support and the idea in here!**

Tegan's P.O.V.

She is the only thing I can think of, nothing else, no one else exists for me right now.

I breathe deeply in her scent and let my eyes flutter shut. Sara moves closer to me and places her hand on my thigh. Her lips find my cheek and move down to my neck. I gasp and and open my eyes as I feel the tickling softness on my jaw.

„What are we doing?" I whisper to her, taking her face in my hands.

Sara rubs her cheek against my hand, her eyes closed. A soft sigh escapes from her plump lips and she looks so innocent. This caring and sweet side of her is new to me, but I'm loving it.

„What do you want to do?" She asks and opens her eyes.

I bite my bottom lip shyly and run my hands over the shoulders of her gray blazer.

„Spend the night with me, properly, for once," I say and avoid her piercing gaze. „Don't freak out afterwards or run away, don't make me hate myself…Just be with me." I whisper, my voice not strong enough to be used louder.

„Do you want me to..." Sara begins and slides her hands behind the small of my back. She places me down on my back, my head resting on the pillows. She hovers over me with her upper body, her legs scissoring mine. Her hand removes a curl of hair from my eyes so she can look into them.

„…Make love to you?" She finishes the question, her voice like silk. The choice of words sends a kick to my core. She's really going all out tonight to win me back.

„Only if you want to." I reply.

She responds by pressing her lips to mine. The kiss is soft and tender, our lips merely moving. She keeps our mouths connected and whispers „I do." against my lips.

Her approval wakes up the passion inside of me and I roll us over so that our bodies are tightly pressed together.

Before she can object to me being on top, I lean down for another, this time deeper kiss. As our tongues mingle, I feel no trace of alcohol. The fact that she's acting on her free will makes me smile. I pull away and look down at her, smiling like a lovesick teenager that I really am inside.

„What?" She chuckles and runs her hands up and down my thighs.

„You're sober." I state.

„I am." She says, confusion in her tone.

„So you want this. You want me." I say, afraid of her reaction.

She sits up with me on her lap and sighs. Her arms wrap tightly around me and I place mine on her chest.

„I've always wanted you, Tegan," She says. „I just don't know how to…Deal with things," I caress her cheek as a sign to be open freely without being scared of what I might think of her. „If you put yourself in my position, you'll understand. You're married to a wonderful woman, you're going to have a child together, but there's this girl…This amazing girl that you had an affair with and the thought of her is never leaving your head. You start to imagine what could be…You could leave your wife, quit your job, take the girl and move away but it's not that easy," I nod, listening curiously.

„I had the taste of perfection once and I will always compare everything I'll have in life to it. I can't be with you without hurting Emy and I can't be with Emy without hurting you." She finishes.

I place small kisses on her neck to comfort her.

„I'm not going to make you choose," I whisper in her ear. I push her blazer off her shoulders and cast it away to the floor. I nudge her to lie down and play with the hem of her button down shirt.

„When was the last time she touched you?" I ask quietly. She always does the giving with me, so I wonder if she's receiving any.

Sara raises her hands to the collar of her shirt and starts unbuttoning it.

„Months ago…I didn't even," She shakes her head shyly. „Finish."

I feel bad for her and lean down to peck her on the lips. This is going to be my first time doing it, but I want to make her feel good. I want her to finish for me, with me, because of me.

After I've removed all of her clothes, she doesn't let me admire her body. Instead, she starts pulling my shirt over my head. I quickly rid myself of the fabric keeping my skin hidden from her so I can continue with touching her.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

My head falls back down on the pillows and my eyes close as I feel her kissing down my nude body. It feels weird to be touched by Tegan with her being a newbie but I can swear that it's the most amazing thing I've ever felt. I can already say that nothing is going to top that. It's not just that she's good with her mouth, but there's this passion in her eyes that lets me know that she wants this. She wants to take me high and care for me. Her lips press against my sensitive clit and I moan loudly. I can't even remember the last time Emy went down on me. Maybe a year ago? I feel like passing out from pleasure as Tegan licks my sex, shyly at first, but soon picking up speed.

„Am I doing okay?" She asks, her hot breath hitting my wet flesh. I open my eyes and look down at her.

The sight is breathtaking; she's looking up at me from between my legs like a deer in the headlights, worried that she might do bad. I reach down with my left hand, leaving the right one to grip her sheets above my head. I let my fingertips feel her smooth cheek and smile.

„Honor student." I say kindly, hoping she'll stop worrying. Tegan smiles sweetly and goes back to work. I throw my head back in pleasure and dishevel her soft hair gently. Her tongue does tight circles around my clit and then moves down to push into me. Her bravery surprises me and I'm once again blown away by how amazing she is. Her hands slide around my thighs and she pulls me closer to her mouth, burying her face in my pussy.

„Tegan!" I moan out in shock and buck my hips against her.

„Cum for me," She begs. „Please." She wiggles her tongue deep inside my cunt, her nose rubbing my clit. I open my eyes so I can see her when I climax. Her head bobs slightly and the knowing that she's inside of me drives me off the edge.

„Ohhh….Teegaannn…" I moan as I orgasm and squirm in her hold. She stays down after I'm done to lap up all the fluid she can get. I run my hands through her hair, petting her for job well done. She gives final kisses to my opening and clit and climbs up to meet my needy lips.

„How was it?" She asks and hides her face on my shoulder, under my jaw.

„Mind blowing," I say breathlessly. „You're amazing." I kiss her temple and run my hands over her smooth back, stopping at her bum to feel her fleshy cheeks under my palms.

Tegan lets out a small gasp and comes up to kiss me again. I don't think I've ever tasted myself on someone's tongue before. At least not so sweetly and thoroughly. She really didn't leave a drop behind.

„Why didn't...You," She whispers between kisses. „Tell me how good you taste…Sooner," She places wet kisses all over my face, making me giggle. „I have been starving my whole life."

I wrap her in my arms and roll us over. I lean on my elbows but let the lower parts of our bodies touch. Tegan puts her arms on my shoulders, her fingers linking behind my neck. The facial expression that she's looking at me with radiates nothing but happiness and pure love. She stares into my eyes so lovingly I think I might cry. No one has ever looked at me like that. I can feel my heart beating faster and faster, it might explode every second. How did it happen? How did it come to this?

„I…" I try to begin but words fail me. I can't express how I feel. I shake my head and close my eyes.

„What's wrong?" She asks in panic. I open my eyes and smile sadly.

„I'll quit my job for you."


	19. Receiving

**Updating at the speed of light because ComeOnJustifyMyLove promised to update her stories if I do. You guys should kneel and thank me, we've all been missing her.**

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

"I'll quit my job for you." She says.

I stare at her blankly, my lips parted.  
"...What?" I stutter. Why would she do that? For me? Why would she risk her whole life and income because of me?  
Sara looks, unlike me, calm and content.

"Trust me on this one," She whispers and takes one of my hands in hers. She starts playing with my fingers absent-mindedly.  
"I could work somewhere else, I'm qualified enough. And then we wouldn't have to worry about getting caught." I shake my head in disbelief. As much as I'd want to be with her without worrying all the time, I can't let her do this.

"Sara, no," I overpersuade her. "Your wife...She'll notice something is going on. And besides, I love seeing you standing in front of the class. I have a reason to wake up every morning because I know I'll see you at school. I can't let you do that, there's no way." I explain.  
Sara laughs and kisses me quickly.

"This debate is not over yet." She says and tries to distract me with her lips on my neck. Her teeth sink into my flesh and I gasp. This will definitely leave a mark.

"Sara, I," I start, not ready to give up yet. "I don't want to cause you any trouble. You don't have to risk with everything because of me." I beg her with an intense gaze, hoping she'll come to her senses and realize what's best for her and her family.

"Tegan, for once in your life, be selfish," She whispers. I raise an eyebrow. How did she know I'm always leaving myself behind?  
"My mother's friend used to always say that when it comes to what you feel and the person you feel it for...You have to take risks and you have to be selfish. If you want someone, let them know. Don't let them get away." Sara tells me with an open heart.

"I don't know how to be even more egoistic, I'm already fucking someone's wife." I say, my eyes getting damp.  
Sara caresses my hand that's still linked with hers and sighs.

"That woman, my mother's friend...She had a husband who she loved very much. She let him get away with everything, never taking time to demand her rights. And the man left her. Years later, they met accidentally and guess what he told her?  
He said that he wished she had tried harder to keep him there. She never told him how she felt because she was afraid he didn't love her as much as she did. He had been afraid of the same thing." I listen to the story and feel sad for the poor woman.

"Did they end up together again?" I ask her. Sara shakes her head.

"No. They couldn't function anymore. There was too much pent-up anger and confusion."  
I bite my lip in worry. What if that happens to me and Sara? What if she goes fully back to Emy? What is going to happen?

"Are you saying I should fight for you?" I ask her coyly.  
She smiles and nods, her eyes glistening.

"And I should fight for you," She whispers. "Because," She leans down and starts placing kisses over my breasts and stomach.  
"Remember when I said that I know how it's supposed to feel like with the right woman?" I nod. She takes my soft thighs in her hands and spreads my legs. "And how it never felt like that with Emy?" She asks again and kisses my shaved mound.

"Yeah..." I gasp and throw my head back down on the pillows.

"You're the one, Tegan." She says, her voice shaking. I open my eyes quickly and look down at her. We're both crying silently, sharing a look of mutual understanding.  
It took us months to get to this point. It took countless fights and tears to get her to finally admit that and I couldn't be happier. I finally have what I wanted. I have my Sara.  
If she was truly Emy's, she wouldn't be pushing her tongue into me right now and making me arch my back off the bed.

"Sara..." I moan and search for her hand in the sheets.  
I feel her cold fingers brush against mine and I interlock them tightly.

"Come up here?" I ask her, needing to feel her skin on mine.  
She kisses all over my labia lips and the inside of my thighs before climbing up my body. I let her spread my legs farther apart by her hips between them and welcome her to my embrace with a loving kiss on her lips.

"I'm sorry," Sara says, our tears running freely now. All of our walls are breaking down.  
"I'm sorry for pushing you away," She continues and spreads my legs wider. She's on her knees, with her own legs slightly spread, too. I realize what's she's trying to do and place my hands on her hips.  
I pull her pelvis closer and let our soaked sexes collide.  
Sara groans and drops her upper body down to mine. My legs are swaying up and down around her waist with each thrust she makes.  
She brings her face in front of mine, her eyes closed. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you," She says breathlessly, our noses rubbing together in a tender eskimo kiss.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

I grind down to Tegan's wet slit, feeling the highest level of euphoria.

"I'm so sorry, Tegan." I sob to her neck, placing kisses here and there.  
One of her hands stays on my hip while the other one gently holds the back of my head.

"Shhh, It's okay," She calms me down between her moans. "I forgive you." She whispers. I lift my head and look down at her.

Even when she's crying she's beautiful. I kiss her with as much passion as I have and slide my hands under her body.  
I drop to my elbows to support her weight while holding her upper body pressed against my front. There aren't any parts of my body that aren't caressing hers; our soft breasts are pushed together, our lips and tongues are meeting in an intense battle, her clit is throbbing under mine. We're as connected as we could possibly be.

"I'm going to cum..." She lets me know and I speed up my movements. I have to make her feel amazing, I owe it to her.

"Cum for me," I whisper in her ear huskily. "Spill your juices all over me." I demand her.  
"Ahhh, Oh my God!" She screams and closes her eyes tightly.

"Tegan, look..." I try hard to keep up the tempo and focus on her face. I need to see her. "Look at me." I beg her.  
She opens her eyes and stares into my own. She still looks so innocent, even after all the things we've done.  
Maybe that's why I like her so much. She's so genuine and pure. All she does is with heart and kindness.  
She's the woman I can see standing next to me at the altar.

Sparks fly through me as we both come, screaming each other's names, not caring who might hear.  
I don't even know what's happening down there anymore, maybe we're both really squirting on the other's sex like I had asked her to, but I don't really care about that anymore. I feel so much more than just physical pleasure. I feel her in my heart and I don't even know her that well yet.  
She managed to make me open up, maybe not fully, but there's still time. I'm willing to spend as much time as it takes to make this work between us.

"Oh, Sara..." She lets out one final moan and stops moving against my cunt. She closes her eyes and tries to calm down. Her chest is rapidly moving up and down. I decide to give her a minute to recover and slide down her body.  
I lie down to my side, my head going to rest on her lower stomach. She brings her legs closer to my sides, making me feel safe between them. I hook my right hand around her left thigh, making it go over my shoulder and then place my palm over her heart. My left hand stays on her mound as I close my eyes and let myself breathe in the sweet scent of our juices being mixed together on her sex.  
Tegan runs her fingers through my hair and hums softly.

"Thank you." She whispers and I press my lips against her skin sleepily.

She's about to say something else when we're interrupted by a loud bang coming from the other side of her room.


	20. Fix You

**ATTENTION EVERYONE!**

**My stories have been moved to sevenateninetoo . tumblr . com  
**

**so please follow me there if you want to see the updates to my stories. Thank you! :)**

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

The loud bang makes me jump up from Tegan's body.

I feel the ringing in my ears as my heart pounds rapidly in my chest. Tegan turns her head to look at the door.

„Fuck!" She gasps and grabs the sheet, covering her nude body quickly.I look down from the bed to the floor for the long but tight purple shirt she was wearing earlier, tucked in around her sweatpants. I pull it on and get up from the bed to my shaking legs.

„What the fuck was that?" I whisper to Tegan, now walking towards the big window on the other side of the room, waiting for some explanation.

„I don't know…" She says and pulls the side of the curtain a bit to see outside. „Shit!" She says and lets the fabric fall back in place.

„What?" I ask worried and walk to her. Did her mother come back home?

She's interrupted by another bang hitting the window. Tegan jumps slightly and looks rather upset.

„What is going on?" I ask in panic, my hands on her face, making her look at me.

„It's Lindsey, she's…" Tegan sighs and rolls her eyes. „She's throwing rocks at the window." Another blow hits the glass. I raise an eyebrow, though I'm relieved.

„Your best friend? Why is she doing that?" I ask as Tegan turns back to bed to look for clothes.

„Not anymore. I think she's drunk again," She explains and looks over the floor. „Do you mind if I…?" She picks up my black shirt and another bang can be heard, this time more quiet and probably caused by a small pebble.

„Not at all, go ahead." I say, excited about the fact that we'll be wearing each other's clothes. It's one of my favorite bonding moments that can be between two lovers. I help her button it up quickly while admiring how it brings out her breasts and curves.

„I'll go see what she wants," She says. „You stay here and pretend you don't exist…Like Harry Potter when he met Dobby." I chuckle at her capability to make jokes in a situation like this. She turns around and is about to walk out of the door when I notice that something is wrong.

„Hang on," I stop her. „I, uh, can see your ass." I tell her. „Not that it's a bad thing but…" She smiles and nods, going back to the bed. She bends down to pick up my black, female boxers and starts pulling them up her creamy thighs. I watch in awe, sure that if I was in a cartoon, my eyes would explode and my jaw would drop completely off. This girl will never stop surprising me.

„I'll be right back." Tegan announces and hurries to the hallway. I hear her running down the stairs quickly and unlocking the door. I walk carefully closer to the staircase, staying hidden in the dark of the night. I see Tegan opening the door and poking her head out.

„What do you think you're doing!?"

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

„Fucking finally!" Lindsey says and throws her hands up in the air. She stumbles towards the door and leans on the frame.

Now that she's closer I can see how messed up she looks. Her makeup is smeared but it doesn't look like she has been crying. More like sweating or rubbing her eyes. She does smell like sweat and smoke.

„What are yooouuuu doing?" She asks, smiling like a stoner. A strong scent of vodka reaches my nostrils as she opens her mouth and I wince, turning my head away.

„You're drunk and underage, you need to go home." I tell her sternly. Lindsey starts laughing loudly and hysterically, falling slowly towards me. I place my hands on her stomach, steadying her so she wouldn't fall on me. I can smell Sara's scent on the clothes that I'm wearing and I don't want anyone to ruin it.

„Stop, Teeee…Don't be such a coward, spending the Spring break at home, sober and not getting laid…" She looks me up and down, still laughing. „Have you ever even gotten laid?" She mocks me. I tilt my head to the side, almost ready to throw a punch. What has happened to her?

„Just because I'm not getting wasted and collecting STDs means I'm a loser?" I ask, offended because of the person who once meant so much to me.

„Whatever…" Lindsey says, feeling the pockets of her jeans. „I'm gonna…" She starts, putting a cigarette in her mouth and lighting it up. „I'm gonna go to Robbie's…At least there's some life…" She exhales the smoke to my face, not even looking at me and turns around to walk away. I slam the door shut and lock it. I don't understand what happened and how. It seems like it was only yesterday when we were just two little innocent girls, running around the block, having no such troubles.

„Tegan?" I hear Sara's voice behind me and turn around. „Are you okay?" She asks kindly and wraps me in her arms.

„No," I whisper to her shoulder, too confused to even cry because of a lost friendship. „12 years…For 12 years we were best friends and now she picks some hipster junkies over me. How could she do that? Am I not enough?"

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

I guide Tegan back upstairs to bed, shocked at her friend's behaviour. I think about comforting her but I'm not sure how to. I always end up being awkward and rather ineloquent when I try to do that. I might as well rub someone's back with a broom from a few feet away while they're crying. She takes off my shirt, leaving the boxers on and gets under the sheets, her expression tired and annoyed. I turn off the fairy lights and bend over her curled up form to kiss her goodnight and give her some positive comments before I go.

„Where are you going?" She asks sleepily, taking a hold of my hand.

„Home, what if your mother comes back sooner." I say and try to pull free from her grasp.

„No!" Tegan sits up and stares at me, her eyes wide and glistening in the dark. „You promised to spend the night with me!" She pouts, giving me the most adorable puppy dog face ever. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it, it comes naturally because of her soft features, brown eyes and small button nose.

„I want to, believe me, but I'm afraid. What if someone catches us?" I ask and sit down on the bed.

„We'll find a way, remember?" She says and lies back down, pulling on my arm. I give in and bend down for a gentle kiss. Tegan slides her hands around my waist and brings my body down to rest of hers.

„Do you cuddle?" She asks breathlessly after pulling away. Usually, even just the word itself scares me and doing it with Emy feels bizarre and wrong, but when the question escapes from Tegan's lips, there's nothing else I want more in this world. I want to feel her body pressed to mine, I want to hear her slow, even breathing and the beat of her kind heart.

„Only for you." I reply and lie down to spoon her from behind. Her bum presses against my crotch, making me feel butterflies in my stomach.

„When did it start…With her changing?" I ask Tegan, giving her an opportunity to let her feelings out.

„Last Summer. She started going out with weird men who were older than her, slept with couple of them, did drugs…" She sighs and collects her thoughts. „She would get drunk every night, cry on my shoulder for an hour over her current boyfriend or family issues and then I would have to get her drunk ass home safely. She didn't care how I was doing, she even forgot my birthday but remembered theirs. I loved her and tried so hard to make her life easier and thats what I get."

I can't believe someone who has known Tegan for so long could treat her like this.

„I'm so sorry," I say. „You probably already know this, but you deserve to be treated better than that. You're so strong and kind, it's quite astonishing, really. I've never met anyone like you and I can assure you that you did nothing wrong. The only logical reason for her behaviour would be envy. She sees how perfect you are and how in order your life is and it upsets her. She needs broken people like herself around her." I finish my rambling, hoping it will make her feel less sad.

„Maybe you're right," She says. „Thank you, Sara."

I wrap my arms comfortably around her waist and she connects our fingers after kissing my fingertips. We spend a few minutes in silence, getting used to the pleasant feeling.

„You look good in a dress, by the way." She mumbles quietly to the pillow. I let out a short chuckle and kiss from the back of her neck to her smooth shoulder.

„You look good in my underwear." I comment back.

„Mmmm…" She hums, getting sleepier. I can't blame her, it has been an eventful evening. „I love the fact that something that has touched you in the most intimate space, is now against my sex." Tegan says.

I feel my heart skip a beat; are people really more brave and honest when they're about to fall asleep?

„Tegan?" I ask quietly, placing a kiss to her pierced earlobe.

„Hmm?" Is all she can say.

„Do you love me?" I ask carefully, taking advantage of the situation.

I wait for her to reply with dry lips and a rapid heart but all I get is silence. Thinking that I've scared her, I lean closer to her face.

„Tegan?" I whisper and listen.

All I hear is her steady breathing, letting me know that she has fallen asleep.


	21. Not For Better

Tegan's P.O.V.

„Do you love me?" She had asked last night.

The question came so suddenly, I didn't know what do say or do.

So I chose to run away from the difficulty that life gave me and pretended to be asleep. It was cruel of me, but I really didn't know what to say.

If I had said „Yes.", she would have ran away. If I had said „No.", she would have been offended. It's a dilemma. Therefore, I forced myself to sleep on it.

It's past 8 am now and the Sun is faintly shining through the curtains of my bedroom window. I can't say that my mind is much clearer now, I'm even more confused.

I lie under the covers, awake, not moving and just look at her. I've turned around in my sleep and faced her when I woke up. Her beautiful pink lips were there first things I saw when I opened my eyes. I also felt something on my arm and discovered that she's clutching to my wrist with her cold fingers. As much as I need to use the bathroom and brush my teeth before she wakes up, I'm afraid to leave her. What if I come back and discover that she's gone? However, I know that I won't be able to enjoy looking at her, sleeping peacefully, if my bladder is screaming at me. So I carefully remove her fingers from around my wrist and sneak out of the bed. She doesn't wake, but stirs slightly and wiggles with her small button nose.

I suppress a giggle and use the bathroom quickly, still only wearing her boxers. I make sure to brush my teeth thoroughly and do an awkward canadian shuffle back to my bedroom.

When I walk in through the door, I see Sara smiling at me, on her back, the black sheet with purple flowers covering her lower half. She has taken off my shirt, leaving her breasts exposed.

If every morning with Sara is going to be like this, I'm going to do some magic tricks and turn myself into Emy.

„Hi." I say, surprised and self-effacing because of her looking at my half naked body in bright light.

„Come here," She says and licks her lips.

I grin sheepishly and raise the blanket to join her in the warmth. As soon as I'm on my side, next to her, she rolls on top of me and looks into my eyes.

I see her brown hair glowing due to the Sunlight and dust floats around behind her, making the situation resemble a scene from some cheesy, romantic movie. Her skin is so smooth against mine, sending shivers down my spine.

I bite down on my bottom lip and wait for her to say or do something.

„You're gorgeous." She mumbles and leans down to kiss me slowly and gently. Her lips are so soft and tender, it feels like the waves of the ocean are caressing me. I taste peppermint in her mouth and realize she had to have mints hidden somewhere in her pockets. Sara, you sly dog.

She pulls away and smiles down at me. Her brown eyes take me captive and I notice that they have a twinkle in them in the light, almost looking kind of green. I start to discover new details about her face. As she smiles widely, I see wrinkles on the corners of her mouth, making her beautiful smile spread further on her face.

She's so special, so unique…And almost…All mine.

I raise my right hand to her face and touch the smooth skin of her cheek with my fingertips. Sara sighs quietly and closes her eyes, relaxing under my touch.

„Sara…" I whisper.

„Mmm?" She hums and keeps her eyes closed.

„You…You're not running away?" I say, as more of a statement than a question. Sara opens her eyes and turns serious. I'm afraid of a fight or a mean comment, but all she does is showering me with kisses to my cheeks, nose and lips.

„Should I?" She asks and moves down my neck with her kisses. I start to breathe heavily, trying not to get carried away.

„Do you want to?" I ask Sara to distract myself as she moves on to my chest. She takes both of my heavy breasts into her hands on massages them gently.

„I want to be with you." She assures me confidently, holding my breasts in her palms and runs her thumbs over my hard, pink nipples. I can't help but to let out a small moan and throw my head back on the pillows. She takes one of the hard buds in her warm mouth and sucks on it slightly. My fingers find a new home in the mess of her soft hair as she keeps circling my nipples with her velvety tongue and bites down tenderly.

„Ohhh, Sara…" I try to get her attention but end up moaning and gasping. „Not…Now." I say breathlessly. She raises her head and looks at me fearfully. Does she really think I could ever reject her?

„It's a bit too early for me." I let her know and smile kindly, hoping she won't take it the wrong way.

„Oh," Sara looks around the room and then back at me. „I understand." She smiles, almost empathetically and gets up from the bed.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

„She won't be back so soon, please don't leave." Tegan begs me, clinging to my left arm as we're standing in her kitchen. It's so bright and sunny, it's almost hurting my eyes.

„I don't want to take any more risks, Tegan." I say and spruce up my gray blazer. As much as I'd like to stay with her in this haimish house and pretend I don't have other responsibilities, I can't stay calm when there's a chance of her mother coming back sooner.

„Please stay." She repeats, looking at me with big, innocent eyes. I sigh and take her face in my hands. She grips both of my wrists and pouts. I lean in and capture her plump bottom lip between mine. Tegan lets out a small moan and starts kissing me back. She lets go of my hands to put them around my neck and I run mine down her chest and sides, to the end of her long shirt. I take her soft, almost bare ass cheeks in my hands and give them a squeeze.

She pulls away from my lips and yelps quietly. I laugh and let her tuck her head between my jaw and shoulder. I embrace her and sway us slowly as her lips caress the prominent veins in my neck.

„We don't really have future together, do we?" She sighs and asks. This almost breaks my heart. I really don't want to face the reality yet.

„I'll think about it, Tegan, I will." I kiss her temple, trying to comfort her. „There must be something we can do." She nods and lets go of me.

„Where did you park your car?" She walks me to the door and asks.

„Next the forest, there's a small parking lot." I tell her and unlock the door. I turn around to say goodbye.

„I don't want you to go…" She whines adorably and grips my blazer in her hands. I smirk and lean in for a final kiss. Her lips are desperate against mine, not ready to see me walk away.

„I'll see you at school." I whisper and kiss her warm cheek before opening the door.

„Bye." She smiles sadly, leaning on the doorway. I could get used to this, her sending me off every morning with sweet kisses, letting me know I'm needed and wanted. As I walk to my car under the hot Sunshine, I smile like an idiot in love.

I usually can't stand it when girls are clingy, especially when Emy does it. But with Tegan it's a whole different story. I get in the car and start the engine. My favorite radio station starts playing a song by Phoenix and I smile even wider.

_„Things are gonna change and not for better. Don't know what it means to me, but it's hopeless, hopeless…" _I listen to the lyrics and raise an eyebrow. Not very comforting in our situation.

What is going to happen? I can't leave Emy, not when she's like this…I look around the woods in awe. The snow is melting rapidly, leaving the whole road wet. I honestly couldn't wait for this cruel winter to be over.

I look away from the trees, straight ahead and suddenly feel sharp pain in my eyes.

The Sun blindes me and makes me turn my head away. The wheel slips from my hands in shock and I lose control of the car.


	22. Worry

Tegan's P.O.V.

I hear the front door open and rush to the hallway in hopes that Sara has decided to come back.

"Tee?" My mother's voice calls me. The excitement vanishes and my heart slows down. Of course she wouldn't come back.  
We had spent the night together, too many hours without a break. I understand she needs her space but quite honestly it's hurting me. I feel like I'm not good enough for her, like my company is not wanted.

"Hi, mom." I say and smile a little as I reach her.  
Sara was smart to leave, I can't even imagine what would have happened if she would still been here.  
Sonia takes off her coat and shoes and walks into the kitchen, lifting her purse to the table.

"How's your friend?" I ask and sit down across her.  
"She's alright, just worried," Sonia lets out a sigh and looks out of the window with tired eyes. "About her daughter."  
She starts going through her purse, looking for something.

"What's with her daughter?" I ask, concerned. I don't know much about her friend's kids but I still can't stand the thought of something bad happening to anyone.

"She's burning her life down, avoiding everyone," She takes her phone out of her bag and starts dialing. "I'm going to make a quick call, okay?" She asks me, standing up.

"Sure." I get on my feet and go upstairs to give her some privacy. She seems really worried and exhausted, making me worried about her.

_Monday_

I watch people move around the cafeteria, some laughing, some emotionless...

There's a short boy with glasses reading a thick book, a skinny girl with blonde extensions looking despicably at the soup in front of her, the Math teacher picking at her necklace and mumbling something to herself, a couple sitting close together and sharing a few kisses when they think nobody's looking...But I'm looking.

I'm looking and I'm getting more and more jealous of the fact that they can be in a relationship so freely and openly.  
The public doesn't mind if they date, no matter for how long. They don't care if they have sex or not. But if it were Sara and I being affectionate, hell would break loose.  
What makes it normal to judge one type of love but not some other one? What difference does it make that the ages don't match but sexes do?

"She's not here, I checked twice." Anna says, bringing me back from my angry inner monologue.

"Huh?" I ask and look at her. She doesn't seem like her usual happy self.  
"Sara. She should be here but I haven't seen her today. I have class with her later." She explains and looks over her shoulder.  
"Me too, in 5 minutes actually," I say, checking the big clock on the wall. "Maybe she's in the classroom." I guess.

"Yeah." Anna agrees and looks sadly down at the bottle of soda in her hands.  
"Are you okay?" I ask her. She nods and clearly fakes a smile with her shiny gloss-covered lips.

"Have you seen Lindsay? I don't think she's gotten sober since the night she showed up at your door." She says, dragging my attention away from her problems.  
I shrug, we haven't spoken ever since. Honestly, I don't even want to. I don't need a friend who brings me down.

"From what I've seen on her Twitter page, you're right," I say and the bell rings. I jump up, excited to see Sara again. "I'll catch you later, bye!" I tell Anna and almost run to the third floor.

When I enter the classroom, my rapid heart stops for a second. She's not there.  
Her place at the desk is taken by the boys Gym teacher.

"Sit down everyone," He says, his tall body hovering over all of us. His face is serious as he takes a seat and looks at something on the desk.

"I'm going to fill as a substitute for Ms. Quin as she has gotten into a car crash and is in the hospital."  
As soon as the words leave from his mouth, the ringing sound comes to my ears, blocking everything else.  
This can't be happening.


	23. Heavy Heart

Tegan's P.O.V.

The bouquet of pink roses feels heavy in my hands as I follow the signs on the walls. My palms are sweaty and my mouth is dry. Will I survive seeing this? What if it's serious?

I shouldn't even be here at this early hour, without a permission. But I know if I were at school, listening to teachers talk about things I won't need in my adult life, I wouldn't be able to sit still.  
I push the weighty door open and look at the long hallway both ways, not sure where my destination is. I rely on my gut feeling,  
taking a turn right, thinking about stopping the first nurse to ask for information.

I get closer to the end of the hallway and hear her before I can see her.  
I could recognize that stubborn tone anytime.

"No, I'm being serious," I hear her say, her voice more high-pitched than usually. She lets out a small cough before continuing. "Just a few broken ribs, no big deal...I shouldn't even be here."  
Hearing her voice come out so strong makes me happy, lifting a heavy rock from my chest. She's alright.

Leaning closer to the small space between the wall and open door, I carefully peek in. My heart jumps out of my chest as I see Sara, still somehow looking beautiful, lying in bed with a massive, peeping machine next to her on the floor. Her skin, visible due to the short-sleeved hospital gown, is so pale and bruised from some places. She has small cuts under her chin and on her right cheekbone. The nurse she was talking to appears from her right side, holding a clipboard in her hands.

"No, no, Ms. Quin," She says with a heavy spanish accent. "You broke some ribs, have low stats and lost consciousness."  
Sara sighs, looks at something on her left and then back at the nurse.

"I'm conscious now, I'll be fine. Why can't I go home?" She asks, suddenly looking in my direction. Her eyes go wide and before she can say anything else or let me know it's a bad time, I push the door open, ready to run to her, ending up freezing on the spot instead.

A beautiful woman with messy brown hair is sitting on the left side of Sara's bed, holding her slender hand in her own. She raises her head to look up at me, confused.

"Ah," The elderly nurse says in a friendly way, smiling. "You must be the daughter I heard about earlier!" She breaks the awkward silence, making it even more awkward. I look quickly at Sara who is as confused and in shock as I am.

"I...Uhh..." I try to say, looking around the tiny space. "Wrong room," I lie and start to move out of the door. "I'm so sorry for interrupting."  
I palliate myself and rush out, closing the door behind me. Confused and scared, I stay on the other side of the wall for a few minutes, to hear how they all reacted.

"Miss...I don't understand, you," I hear the nurse say. "You mentioned earlier to her that a daughter will be coming, si?" Her voice is apologetic. "She looked like you. Sorry."  
Adorable, but unfamiliar giggle erupts from the room, probably belonging to Emy.

"It's okay, I was actually talking about this girl, right here." She says and I think she's referring to her stomach.  
The sound of the nurse walking blocks out something Sara quietly tries to say.

"Oh, this is wonderful!" The oldest woman says and claps her hands together. "Names, tell me about names!" She begs, thrilled by Emy's pregnancy. I sigh and roll my eyes. Pregnancy is not a fun thing to be around...Unless it's happening to you or you're old.  
What is so fun about starting a family with someone who is not fully there for you? Can't this woman see that her wife is emotionally taken?  
Or maybe she does but doesn't care. She just wants what she wants, willing to accept all she can get.

"Clarissa," Emy says. "What do you think, honey?" She asks Sara.  
I hear Sara cough a bit as if she was taking time to think whether she should say something or not.  
"Rain." She says so quietly that I almost don't catch it.  
But that's my name. My middle name. She knows that. Why would she name her daughter after me?

"Oh, come on, that's silly!" Emy laughs. "Rain? She's going to get bullied!" I can't take it anymore and leave, hiding near the exit until I see Emy get in her car.

* * *

Sara's P.O.V.

Five minutes after Emy and the nurse have left me, the door bursts open and Tegan comes running in, holding a gorgeous bouquet of roses. The door slams back shut again and Tegan sits down on my bed, placing the flowers on my stomach.  
Instead of saying something, she leans in carefully but quickly, grabs my cheeks and kisses me like there's no tomorrow.  
I pull away too soon for my liking, needing to breathe. Tegan rests her forehead against mine, our noses rubbing.

"Are you alright?" She asks, panting. I pull back and take her face in my bruised hands. Her eyes are tired,  
her lips are red and parted for the extra oxygen, her chest moves rapidly and I swear I can hear both of our heartbeats getting faster.

"I'm fine," I say and peck her quickly on her soft lips, feeling her labret piercing also under my own bottom lip.  
When they're so close to me, I just can't deny them. "I know you heard what we were talking about afterwards." I admit.

"How?" She asks, embarrased that I caught her.  
"I couldn't hear you walking away." I say and she smiles.

"Other people talk but you listen..." She shakes her head and smirks.  
"I hope you weren't serious about the whole Rain thing." She says and we both laugh.  
It's hurting my ribs or the crumbs that's left of some of them, but I couldn't care less.

"I was," I say, feeling myself blush. "I like the name." Tegan gives me the most adorable gummy smile and kisses me again. I will never get tired of this.  
She stays for an hour and we talk about everything except Emy and the baby. I know she knows all there is to know and she knows I'd rather pretend it's not happening to me.  
I was stupid to agree to get back with Emy but I'm done whining about it behind her back.  
Whenever I look at Tegan, I decide it's time to do something but never get around to it. But now, at the hospital, as she's placing a band-aid on the cut on my cheekbone and kisses it better afterwards, I am determined and motivated to take the next step.


	24. Curse

Sara's P.O.V.

The great men of great past have written numerous novels about greed, wealth, war and even love, but none of them taught me  
what happens after you get the curse you've called "love", for forever. What happens after the happy end?  
I can't call myself a fan of polygamy, however, ironically that's what I appear to be doing right now.  
Isn't love supposed to be everlasting? Maybe is my love so ethereal that I can't be bothered to go deeper?  
Or maybe, my love just has an expiration date. The thought that scares me the most is that it was never love.  
Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing behind the back of my "one and only". I'm blaming others and I'm blaming her, for forcing me into it, when in reality, I was the one behind my actions. It's all my fault. I was the one to propose first, still unsure, hoping I'll get the feeling that love novels talk about. I got the feeling, or something close to it, eventually. But not by the hands and heart of the woman sleeping next to me every night, probably for the rest of my life because of what's inside of her.

I look across the room into familiar eyes that I've become to adore.  
The owner of them gives me a reassuring, but a sad smile. She knows what I'm thinking.  
I've never been open, therefore, it disturbs me when I become transparent in front of the person in whose eyes I hope to remain perfect, but I feel safe. I've stopped worrying. Like an angel, she won't betray me.

Weeks have gone by since my accident after spending the night at Tegan's house. It's May and I can't be more confused.  
The warmth of the Sun and the green of the trees makes me happy for approaching Summer but it also means that I won't be seeing Tegan.  
The loud singing of the birds coming through the open window, letting in a slight breeze, wakes me from my thoughts. It's my first day back in school. My body has healed well and it's almost like nothing ever happened. It's also the first day I'm seeing Tegan since she visited me at the hospital.  
Emy didn't want me to go back to school, so she kept me at home, trying to take care of me. I appreciate it, I do, but she was smothering me with her tenderness.  
I need her to dislike me, treat me bad, do anything that would make me feel less guilty about cheating on her. It's almost like she knows and has this scheme to play coy until we're in public and she can drop the bomb and humiliate me.

The bell rings and everyone gets up to bring their tests to my table. Tegan stays at her desk, patently pretending to search for something from her bag. When everyone have left, she walks up to my desk, smiling shyly.  
As she places the test on top of the pile, my hand reaches up and grabs hers gently.

"Hi," She says, her eyes glistening when meeting mine. "How are you?" She asks, biting into her bottom lip.  
My thumb runs over her knuckles and I stand up from my chair, letting out a small groan when I feel my ribs expand with a deeper breath.

"I missed you." I say quietly and check the door quickly with my eyes, making sure it's closed.  
I lean over the desk, my other hand going to touch her silky hair, and pull her into a gentle kiss.  
Her lips touch mine so softly that I'm afraid I'm imagining her. The pressure she puts into the kiss is so faint, yet so full of...Dare I say...Love?  
I still don't know how she really feels about me as she fell asleep during the only time I got the courage to ask.  
Afraid that someone might walk in on us, I pull away against my wish. Tegan smiles sadly and looks down at my chest.

"How are you feeling?" She asks, worried. I sit down slowly, unable to hold my posture still while my heart is going wild.  
"I'm alright. How have you been?" I reply. Tegan starts playing with the hem of her shirt, looking down.  
"I...I've been good, I think. I was worried. You never called me and I don't have your number, so..." Her voice trails off, making me feel bad about not contacting her. I couldn't, Emy would have noticed. "I thought that maybe you have forgotten about me. Maybe I'm pressuring you too much. I don't know." She says sadly and looks up at me. "Am I?" She asks.

"Oh, Tegan," I sigh, standing up again. I walk to the other side of the table and hug her carefully, trying to spare my ribs.  
"No, of course not. I would have called but she was just...She was always there, looking over me." I kiss her temple and rub my palms over her back. "I'm so sorry, it won't happen again." I promise and pull away suddenly when I hear someone shouting in the hallway.

"I still want to see you tonight, will you be around?" I ask her, hinting to the party the school's (gay) activity planner is organizing. Tegan nods and grips one of the laces on her bag.  
"I'll see you then," I say and kiss her quickly for the last time. "Bye, honey." I say without thinking and my eyes go wide as I realize what I've done.  
Tegan just smiles, not saying anything and turns around to walk out of the door.  
This was very awkward of you, Sara, I think and sit down with a sigh.

* * *

Tegan's P.O.V.

Graig hides the opened beer bottle into the pocket of his jersey jacket and laughs loudly. I roll my eyes and sigh, looking around the dark, unusually wide and square shaped place between two hallways. He tries to put his arm around my shoulders but I take a small step away, closer to the big window.  
We; me, Graig, Anna and Dave are waiting for Lindsey and Jessica to come back from the bathroom at the end of the hallway.  
Anna touches the tall plants and seems nervous. She looks up at me and smiles. I smile back and walk to her, away from Graig's needy hands.

"What's up?" I ask Anna and she shrugs.  
"I'm just thinking." She says and observes the plants like it's her first time seeing them.  
"About?" I push her to speak more. She has been pretty distant lately.  
"Oh, nothing," She says, looking over her shoulder as Lindsey and Jessica return, giggling in their drunken state. "I'll tell you later."

"Let's hit the dancefloor, guys!" Lindsey almost yells and grabs Graig's hand, pulling him towards the other hallway.  
"Tegan, come on!" Graig calls me desperately and I let out an annoyed groan.  
Anna laughs and takes my hand in hers.  
"You heard the man." She says and we start walking towards the the hall where the loud music is coming from. It's dark and decorated like a nightclub.

"Hey, amigos!" The activity planner comes up to us and hugs me. As he pulls back, I see that he's wearing a silver, sparkling suit with a rainbow tie.  
"Wow, Adam," I say, admiring his style. "You have truly out-gayed yourself." Anna bursts out laughing next to me.  
Adam snaps a "Z" shape with his fingers, grinning. "Hell yeah, girl."

"How do you know him?" Anna asks after he has walked away.  
"He needed help with putting up the posters a few weeks ago, so I went to help him and we just started talking. He's really cool." I explain to her over the new, a bit slower song starting to play.

"I love this song, come on!" Anna squeals and pulls me through the people, closer to the speakers.  
She starts dancing and singing against me, trying to get me to move.

"I know your insides are feeling so hollow and it's a hard pill for you to swallow,  
but if I fall for you, I'll never recover," I hear her singing close to my ear, her arms going around my waist.  
"If I fall for you, I'll never be the same..." I feel her breath on the back of my neck and she grinds her front to my bum. I sing along, looking around the room, searching for the only person whose arms I want to be around me.  
"I really wanna love somebody. I really wanna dance the night away. I know we're only half way there but you take me all the way, you take me all the way. I really wanna touch somebody. I think about you every single day..."  
Just as my eyes meet Sara's and it looks like I'm singing the song for her, I feel lips start to caress my neck and Anna's hand move to breast.


	25. Jeopardy

Sara's P.O.V.

It's hard to see through the mass of people dancing around. I search for her desperately with my eyes, scanning every girl in the dark. My gaze comes to rest on a short brunette, standing still, her back to me.  
Suddenly, she spins around and throws her arms around a boys neck, smiling widely. Lindsey.

My eyes travel on, to the left of her and I capture the brown orbs I've been looking for. She looks at me with a confused expression and I wonder why until I notice blonde hair between the crook of her neck. Anna kisses, sucks and bites at Tegan's neck while her hand goes to cup one of her breasts.

I tilt my head to the side, my heart going crazy in my already fragile enough chest. How could she do that to me? I watch Tegan spin around in Anna's embrace, the taller one puts her manicured hands on Tegan's cheeks and pulls her into a kiss.  
She knows I'm witnessing this, yet she keeps on going. Before I can see this go further, I rush out of the hall, down the stairs. I push the front entrance door roughly open and walk quickly to the other side of the massive building.  
I need air, I need to be alone...I need to think before I act...  
My heart pounds painfully under my repaired ribs as I reach the beginning of the stadium. The whole back of the school is surrounded by forest, which gives me comfort. Some might say that they feel suffocated, but not me. Never by nature.  
Since prom, the fairy lights are still on and shining on the little wooden decorative pavilion at the one end of the stadium,  
in font of the small pond, the whole section almost hidden between trees.  
I run to the safety of the small chapel an lean my elbows to the railing, looking over to the pond. I try to regulate my breathing, inhaling clear air slowly and deeply.

The image of their lips meeting comes back to haunt me and I force my eyes to stay open, looking at anything else but imagining this nightmare again. How could she do that? I gave her my heart. For the first time in my life, I opened up for someone, let her see the bad side of me and became amoral to be with her.  
I risked with everything for her. My whole life. No one has ever broken my heart before.

"Sara!" I hear Tegan's voice shouting behind me. I turn around and see her running towards me across the football field.  
The ends of her blue skinny jeans are wet from the grass and her tight purple t-shirt is close to her chest, showing her breasts bouncing. My mind wanders briefly back to a few weeks ago when I had her underneath me, naked and gasping for more.  
I shake my head, now is not the time. I'm still mad and confused.

"I'm so sorry, Sara!" She wheezes and stops in front of me. The lights make her beautiful creamy skin glow and the labret under her slightly open lips shines. I stand still, my bum almost leaning against the railing, not saying anything. I just look at her, waiting for her to say something that would mend this sudden hole of insecurity and fear in my gut. I'm scared of losing her.  
"You have to believe me, I didn't want this." Tegan explains, trying to catch her breath. She steps closer to me and I take a step back, my heels hitting the railing.

"Am I not good enough for you?" I ask, my voice stern. "Do you want someone who can be with you in public? Because if this is what you need to be happy, I can't hold you back, Tegan." I say and really mean that. It's not fair to keep her stuck with me. She's so young, she should go out and enjoy life, be open and happy about her relationships. As much as I want her to stay with me, I can't force her.

"What?" She gasps and shakes her head slightly. "No! I don't want anyone but you!" She says, her palms open towards me when she uses her hands to explain. "If you would've stayed for a bit longer, you would have seen that I pushed her away and asked her why did she do it! I didn't want this, I was looking around the hall for you and then she just confused me so suddenly, I couldn't think!" I sigh and look around helplessly.  
"Are you dating her or something? Why would she do something like that unless there was something going on between you two?"  
I ask her, afraid of her answer.

"I," Tegan begins and looks down at her feet, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "We...We had sex. Just once," She says quietly and quickly. I close my eyes and move my head slowly from left to right. "It was right after you told me about the baby," She explains, trying to comfort me but it's not working. I feel betrayed. I feel like I have heard too much information. "But she, she didn't even get to be inside of me, I don't want anyone but you in me, Sara! And I...I thought of you. I couldn't come until I thought of you!" She says, probably in hopes to make me feel special but I don't. Somebody else still has touched and caressed her.

"How could you, Tegan?" I open my eyes and whisper. I want to cry and scream, I want to live in a world that's easier.  
"Me?" She asks, surprised and offended. "How could I? You broke it off! You threw me away and I found someone who liked me and wanted to be with me! Really, how could I?" She flies into a rage. I've never seen her like this and can't help but to be in awe. "You cheat but promise to break it off at the same time, how am I supposed to feel every day? I always have to share you with her, I suffer under the guilt...You go home and fuck someone else. Whenever you want. I'm never your first choice." She starts sobbing and my heart breaks even more. "Tee..." I whisper and step closer to her. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry on my shoulder. "I'm sorry." I calm her and run my hands over her back.

"Quit saying that," She begs, her voice muffled against my jacket. "You always say you're sorry but you never act on it. You promise we'll find a way but it's like you're pushing it into the future. I understand you're afraid and don't want to hurt Emy and the baby but right now you're hurting me," She lifts her head up and looks me in the eye. She's so gorgeous, even with bloodshot eyes. I want to mend her and kiss away her tears. I want to be her slave for forever and make everything bad I've done up to her. "I said I won't make you choose but I can't do this anymore. Do you want a life with her...Or me?"  
Her eyes burn into my soul and I know that the rest of my life depends on this exact moment. She looks at me and I look back at her, both waiting for the life changing decision. The only thing missing is the Jeopardy theme music.


	26. Flightless Bird

Tegan's P.O.V.

The silence is so intense I swear I can hear a song playing through the open windows in the hall.  
Both of us just stare into the other's eyes, waiting. It's her turn to step out of the comfort zone and admit what she wants.  
We stand still for what seems like hours, when it's probably only for a few seconds. My heart is pounding in my chest and I feel like hitting Anna for pulling a stunt like that. I've never been this scared in my life, both of our lives depend on this moment. Sara seems frozen on the spot, I have no clue what's going on inside her head. Maybe she's trying to think of a polite way to dump me. This is the way you'll leave me, I think. No hope, no love, no glory, no „Happy Ending". It's true that you can't get no love without sacrifice. If anything should happen, I guess I wish her well…

Suddenly, Sara steps forward and takes a gentle hold of my right hand. This is it. She's going to say the words she said at her office. That I'm young and this is unhealthy. I close my eyes, feeling the tears forming. I wait for the words to come but they don't. Instead, she pulls me slightly forward. My eyes snap open and I look at her, confused.

„Come on." She says quietly, her face expressionless. I let her guide me off the pavilion, through the small trail that leads to the forest around the pond.  
„Where are we going?" I ask her, gripping her cold fingers tightly between mine to prevent her from running away. Sara stops walking until we've reached one end of the pond, standing under thick trees. She turns to look at the Moon's reflection on the surface of the water.

„Sara?" I try to get her attention. She turns slowly to me and slides her other, free hand to hold my waist. What is she doing?  
„I'll only stay with you one more night," She whispers and my heart falls into million pieces. I shake my head a bit in disbelief. This can't be the end, it just can't. She's quiet again, like she hasn't said the nine words that could kill me. Only the faint music reaches my ears.

_I was a quick-wit boy, diving too deep for coins, all of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys. _  
_Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair, stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere…_

She gets closer and closer, her cool breath playing on my lips. My eyes flutter shut and I wait. The tender softness meets my lips, sending shivers down my spine. I raise my left hand to her exposed chest to feel her quick heartbeat, finding out that it matches mine. She kisses me gently and lovingly like it's the last time she'll see me. It probably is. Tears roll down my cheeks when I realize our lips fit perfectly and the spaces between my fingers seem to be made only for her.  
The thoughts race around in my head and show no intentions of stopping. Is this the pity sex before breaking up? Is she going to move away? Will I have to give chase? Does she want me to take her advice and fight for her, unlike her mother's friend with her lover?

_Have I found you, flightless bird? Grounded, bleeding or lost you, American mouth. Big pill stuck, going down…_

Sara lays me down on the soft grass, right next to the water, and hovers over my body. I look up at her, trying to read her face in the moonlight. She brings one of her hands down to cup my jaw and run her thumb over the tears on my cheek.

„…Under these circumstances." She mutters suddenly, finishing her sentence. I sit up quickly, confused. I take her face in my hands and look in her eyes.  
„What?" I ask, my voice shaking. The corner of her mouth twitches and she forces her lips into a small smile.  
„Do you really think I'd leave you after I've claimed that you're the one?" She asks with a chuckle. My eyes go wide and a rock falls from my heart, letting it mend again. I feel like punching her for doing that to me but the relief weakens me, bringing up even more tears.  
Sara lets my tears flow freely, kissing my wet and salty lips. She takes the time to undress me, probably trying to prove to me that it's not going to be just a quick fuck and she doesn't plan to hit and run. When I'm completely bare, she lays me down again. I welcome the soft grass on my skin with sudden happiness. Even though we're in a public place, I feel safe with her. I feel warm inside, even in my naked state.

Sara touches me so carefully, as if she's afraid I might crumble like porcelain. Her lips caress my neck, leaving small bites and bruises behind when she moves down to my chest. My nipples harden in her warm mouth as she closes her teeth around them and sucks. I throw my head back down on the slightly damp grass and hold onto her back. She places light kisses down my stomach,  
stopping when she reaches my mound. Her eyes look up at me, asking for permission. I smile faintly and let her spread my soft, fleshy thighs apart. The scent of my own sex makes me even more aroused and I wait for her to take me, bucking my hips slightly up.

Sara lowers her mouth to my dripping folds and hooks her arms around my thighs. She places a kiss on my clit before dipping her tongue down to the pool of wetness. I grip and pull the grass with my right hand, arching my back in pleasure. Her muscle forces it's way into my slit and my other hand goes down to her hair to help her push in farther.  
She eats me out so wonderfully that I'm afraid I'm going to pass out. The pleasure, it's not just all physical; my mind is stimulated and I feel the highest level of calmness. I feel like everything is the way it's supposed to be. We won't be going on and off again, we're going to take the next step. We're going to stop hurting each other.

When she drinks all of me like it's her last meal, the realization hits me. I won't be afraid of her reaction anymore.  
If she decides to run, I'll follow. I'll stop being a coward and start fighting for what I deserve.  
"Sara," I try to say but it comes out as a moan. "Mmm," I breathe heavily and lick my lips. "Sara, come up here." I manage to gasp out. She raises her head from between my legs and climbs up my body.  
"What?" She asks, breathless. Her fingers replace her tongue, pushing into my tight walls. I moan and arch before speaking again.

"That night...That you spent at my house..." It's my last chance to take more time to think this through before I might ruin something. "I heard you." I whisper and open my eyes. Too late now.  
Her fingers keep pounding into me but her lips fall slightly open and she raises an eyebrow.  
"You heard me?" She asks, her voice uncertain. I nod and run my palms down her shirt covered back.

"I do...Love you," I whisper, not looking away from her eyes. "I love you, Sara." I sob, feeling emotionally exhausted but still happy to finally be able to get it out in the open.  
The moment the words leave my lips, something in her eyes changes. Despite the dark surrounding us, they start to sparkle. They come to life. Her whole face lights up and she leans her head down to kiss me passionately. I taste myself on her tongue and smile into the kiss.  
She keeps our lips connected as she whispers "I love you, too." back to me.


	27. Shock To Your System

Sara's P.O.V.

I take the risk and push the boundaries. I kiss her plump lips and finally give into the sin we're committing together.

I tell her that I love her and mean it. As someone who has never been sure what love really is; I've had an epiphany. Being here under the Moon with Tegan must be love. Leaving everything behind to be with a girl instead of a grown woman and a baby must be love.

"I never want to leave you," I whisper, my lips brushing against her ear. My fingers pump slowly and gently into her warmth. Tegan gasps as the angle changes as bit, hitting the right spot deep inside of her. „I promise you this." I admit and suddenly feeling shy because of my confession, hide my face to her neck. My nose brushes against the veins in her neck as I breathe in her scent. She lets out a small moan and her walls start to clench around my fingers.

I pull out, not wanting her to come just yet. We still have time until the party ends and I don't want to waste this night. Tegan opens her eyes and tries to catch her breath.

„Why did you stop?" She asks, obviously feeling quite empty and surprised. Just as I rest my wet fingers on her inner thigh, I hear noises coming from nearby. I look around quickly, ready to grab Tegan's clothes from the side of the pond.

I can't locate the sound and look down at her. She stares back, her eyes glistening and wide with fear; she hears the noise, too.

The sound keeps getting closer and closer and before I can pick up the pieces of her clothing, the face of the voice is too close. If we started bustling and moving now, it would notice us. Why is it that almost every time we try to have sex, something interrupts us? Is God trying to tell us something?

I hover over Tegan's body, protecting her nude state from whatever's eyes and wait quietly for the noise that sounds like weeping to stop. Suddenly, there's a slippery thud and somebody cries out with a high pitched voice.

„Fuck!" A female voice shouts between sobs. I look up at the pavilion and across the football field, stopping when I see a person sitting down on the wet grass. Straight blonde hair falls over her knees as she hugs them closer to her chest and cries loudly. Anna?

I nudge Tegan and point towards her. She sits up and turns her head to see what's going on. When she notices her friend breaking down in what she thinks is a private spot, her eyes fill with sadness. She reaches for her clothes but I stop her, shaking my head slightly. I try to tell her without words, using only my begging eyes, that it's better if Anna doesn't see her, or even worse - _us_ coming out of the woods with messy hair and wrinkled clothes. Wouldn't really help her situation.

Tegan chews on her bottom lip and tilts her head to the side, unsure if she agrees with me. Her eyes focus back on Anna and start sparkling with arising tears. She hangs her head and shakes it, feeling guilty. I would have never guessed that a girl so straight-looking has feelings so strong for Tegan. A part of me starts to feel guilty, too and I wrap my arms around Tegan, hugging her naked body close to me. She hides her face to my neck and struggles to swallow her sobs.

I look between the two crying girls, thinking about my own teenage years. I never had to go through such drama and now I'm the one causing this. I know I should let Tegan be with Anna so both of their lives would be easier and happier but I can't let her go again. I want her all to myself. It's selfish, I know, but what else I can do? Be unhappy with Emy for the rest of my life and let Tegan be in a relationship that's a lie?

„Fucking…Why!" Anna cries and lays down on her back, wetting her clothes and hair. She removes her hands from her mouth and lets her sobs to be heard. It's a heartbreaking thing to witness and I start to lose the guard. She probably already knows about me and Tegan. If that's how our relationship has affected one person in love with Tegan…What is going to happen when Emy finds out? How is our daughter going to feel when she finds out that her other mother was a cheater and left her to be with a girl only 17 years older than her? I can't tell Emy the truth, I can't break her heart like this. And I can't let her know how amoral I am, I would die of embarrassment.

I observe how Anna takes her phone out of her pocket and dials a number. She raises her hand to her ear and waits, clearing her throat. Tegan's phone lights up in the pocket of her jeans and I take it to my hand, holding my thumb against the light so it wouldn't draw attention. The call goes to voicemail and Anna curses. Tegan turns her head to see what happened, her damp cheek against my collarbone.

„Fuck! Okay…" Anna whispers so quietly I don't almost catch it. „Tegan…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about what I did. I know she saw us…And I kept on going because…I don't know." She chokes back a sob and tries to go on. „I just…What I'm trying to say is that I can't do this anymore. I fell in love with you. And then we made love in the shower and you moaned her name and I knew you could never love me back…" Tegan moaned my name out loud? No wonder why Anna's so upset. „So I tried to be there for you and support you. But I couldn't be your friend. I want so much more and seeing that I'm losing you to her just kills me. You're the best friend I've ever had, I can't go on without you," Tegan holds her hands over her mouth, tears flowing over them. I rub up and down her back, trying to calm her down but I know there's no easy way to fix this.

„Which is why I'm ending this…My life isn't easy, you know that. My parents are divorcing and I'm supposed to be this perfect straight cheerleader daughter who makes them proud. I can't do this anymore…I'm sorry if I ruined yours and Sara's relationship. I'm sorry." She whispers the last part and even my heart breakes.

She hangs up and throws her phone to the grass. Slowly, she lifts her body from the wet surface and starts walking towards the pavilion. Before stepping on the wooden floor, she bends down and runs her hand over the wet grass. It's dripping with water when she lifts it to her face and inspects it. I try to figure out what's going on as she steps on the railing and starts to lift her hand up to what I suddenly realize can cause her electricity shock.

Without thinking twice, I remove myself from Tegan's body and start running towards her.

„Anna!" I shout and she quickly spins around to my direction, her wet shoes causing her to lose her balance on the railing. She falls down to the grass, landing on her side. I reach her and kneel down next to her broken form.

„Don't move," I whisper gently and stop her from getting up. „Lay still for a minute," I order her, brushing her hair from her damp face. New tears start to form in her eyes and I try my best to comfort her. Once again I find proof that I'm not ready to become a mother. It's hard to get the calming words out. Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.

„Everything will be okay," I whisper and stroke her cheek. She just looks up at me, shocked by my presence. „Did you break something? Does something hurt?" I ask and look at her arms and legs. She shakes her head and opens her mouth.

„You…You saved my life," She says in disbelief. „Why did you do that?" I almost force a kind smile to my face to let her know that I'm not upset.

„I overheard your phone call. You didn't do anything wrong. You can't help how you feel, just like how Tegan and I can't help how we feel." I explain and watch her smile back a little.

I hear movement behind me and look over my shoulder to see fully clothed Tegan walking towards us. When I look back down at Anna, she raises her wet hand to mine and gives it a squeeze.

„Thank you so much, Sara." She whispers.


	28. Puzzle

Tegan's P.O.V.

I glance in the mirror, my eyes apologetic and tired from crying. The blue eyes I'm searching for stare out of the window, avoiding our presence. Anna's blonde hair is muddy and holding close to her wet face. Her dripping clothes are surely soaking and ruining the backseat of Sara's car and I feel sorry for that. It's all my fault; the tears, the stress, the failed suicide attempt.

I would have never guessed she'll go that far. I've been so blind and selfish.

"Left from here?" Sara asks, her voice friendly and kind.

"Uh," Anna stutters, looking out of the window. "Yeah." She decides and drops her eyes to the floor again. I can't imagine how she must feel at the moment. Maybe regret for failing, probably shame for even trying.

We pass numerous apartment buildings, stopping in front of the gray one with the number 41 on the side. Sara stops the car and parks in front of the first door. She turns to look at me briefly, without any emotion, then looks down again, waiting.

I look over the seat at Anna to make sure she's going to be alright alone. She unbuckles the seatbelt and mutters a quiet "Thanks." to the floor like it saved her life and gave her a lift home.

I know I probably should also get out of the car and talk to her, but I can't. I don't know what to say. That I'm sorry? I never told her to fall for me and then keep it as a secret. I'm unable to comfort her, so I don't. How would my simple „Sorry." help her? It wouldn't make anything disappear nor make it okay.

The car door slams shut and I let out a shaky breath as I watch her walk towards the door. Sara starts the engine again and drives out of the neighbourhood, but not towards mine.

"Where are we going?" I ask her curiously. I'm a bit afraid. Maybe the show that Anna put on was too much for Sara. She must be getting tired of this teenage drama.

„Just…" Sara starts, almost whispering angrily through her teeth. She stops the car on abandoned road in the thick forest. „Get out of the car."

My eyes go wide in surprise and I refuse to move. „Sara?" I ask, my voice shaking. What did I do now?

She doesn't reply or even look at me, just opens the car door and steps out into the dark. I follow her to the front of the car, eager to know what is going on. I can feel the panic hitting me again. Tonight is just too much for me to handle.

Before I can beg her to tell me what's wrong, she grabs my waist and pulls me to her, her lips meeting mine in a heated kiss.

She lifts me to sit on the hood of the car, her hand going immediately to my pants and in my underwear. I let out a gasp of surprise and hold tightly onto her shoulders. I guess she just wants to finish the job she started before.

Sara breaks the kiss and starts biting down on my neck. Her two fingers play with my clit for some time, then move down to my entrance and plunge in without any preparation. I wince and cry out in pain but Sara just keeps on going, ignoring my pleas to stop.

„Sara…Please look at me," I beg her, my voice breaking. „Look at me, slow down…Please." My hand moves down to stop hers from ripping my insides in half. She turns her head away so she won't see my face, her eyes pressed shut. „Don't build the wall again." I whisper, sensing it's one of her behaviour problems hitting her again.

How did I even fall in love with this…This stone? This monster that somehow destroys everything around her.

„I've had enough of this, Tegan," She finally speaks up, also on the edge of crying. „How am I supposed to break it off with Emy? How do I break another heart? How do I leave my child?" She asks, breaking down in front of me.

„You're all I will have," She whispers, slowing her digits down and stroking my walls. I sigh in pleasure, finally feeling the pain ease. „You're mine, cum for me…" She requests and brings her thumb up to my clit.

The setting is not romantic, nor the way she treats me, so I try hard to bring myself closer with images of us in my bed, _making love_, not hurting each other. The constant thrusting of her fingers starts to hurt again and I shake my head, pulling her digits out of my now surely bruised walls. Sara looks at me, confused, as if she doesn't realize what she has done.

„I can't," I say quietly and hop off the car, feeling the tenderness in my centre. „Just take me home." Not saying another word and sensing I'm mad at her, she does as I say.

Once we're in front of my house, I get out of the car and slam the door shut. Halfway on my path to the door, I hear her opening the car door and running to me.

„Tegan! Wait!" She shouts quietly.

She catches up with me and turns me around right in front of the door.

„I'm sorry," She says sincerely, the corners of her eyes wet, ready to spill the water down her perfect pale cheeks. „I'm sorry I hurt you again, I don't know what's wrong with me…" She explains and my heart breaks for the second time tonight. I start lifting my shaky and frozen hands to her face but the door creaking open stops me and my hands fall to my sides.

„Sara!" I hear my mother's shocked scream and turn to my left to see her standing in the doorway in her long white nightgown. Sara? How does she know her?

„Sonia? I'm so sorry to wake you." Sara says, as surprised as I am. Sonia? How does she know my mother?

„It's okay, I was up, waiting for Tegan," My mother says as if a rock was lifted from her chest. „Where were you for so long, I was so worried! Did Sara drop you off?" She asks, raising an eyebrow and her eyes are still worried and tired.

Those tired brown eyes remind me of something and I keep staring at my mother's face, probably looking insane.

„Tegan?" She asks again. „What happened? Are you girls alright?" She asks if Sara and I were little kids.

„How do you two know each other?" I ask, ignoring all of her questions.

„Honey, are you okay?" Sonia asks, putting her hand on my shoulder. I shake her off and turn to look at Sara. I take a quick step back as the same tired eyes stare back at me. Everything around me starts to fade and I blink quickly to keep the fog out of my eyes. In distance I hear my mother's voice say: „She's my friend's daughter." My ears start to hurt, the ringing voice picking up volume. My blood boils in my veins, the memories flash before my eyes.

_Anna and I are walking home, holding hands and talking about our families. "My mother said she had an abortion before she had me." I explain to her. „Hearing this broke my heart but I try to understand her reasons. My father knocked her up and then left her all alone only to come back 15 years later to tell her he's staying, make me and then leave again."_

_Sara and I are in my bed, talking. "Tegan, for once in your life, be selfish," She whispers. "My mother's friend used to always say that when it comes to what you feel and the person you feel it for...You have to take risks and you have to be selfish. If you want someone, let them know. Don't let them get away." Sara tells me with an open heart. "That woman, my mother's friend...She had a husband who she loved very much. She let him get away with everything, never taking time to demand her rights. And the man left her. Years later, they met accidentally and guess what he told her? He said that he wished she had tried harder to keep him there. She never told him how she felt because she was afraid he didn't love her as much as she did. He had been afraid of the same thing." I listen to the story and feel sad for the poor woman. "Did they end up together again?" I ask her. Sara shakes her head. "No. They couldn't function anymore. There was too much pent-up anger and confusion."_

The woman working in the hospital, saying we looked alike, my mother's reaction when I told her my history teacher's name, not even mentioning she knows her back then…

_"How's your friend?" I ask and sit down across her. "She's alright, just worried," Sonia lets out a sigh and looks out of the window with tired eyes. "About her daughter." She starts going through her purse, looking for something. "What's with her daughter?" I ask, concerned. I don't know much about her friend's kids but I still can't stand the thought of something bad happening to anyone. "She's burning her life down, avoiding everyone," She takes her phone out of her bag and starts dialing. "I'm going to make a quick call, okay?" She asks me, standing up._

„You never…Told me you knew my mother." I breathe heavily, turning to Sara. She swallows nervously and mutters something like: „I didn't know she was your mother, I only knew her first name…It never came up, my mother never really let me near her."

I put the pieces quickly together. 32 minus 17 is 15. My father came back 15 years later, 15 years after the abortion, still into my mother. With that final piece of the puzzle done, I start running into the house, but I'm blinded by the fog and my legs fail me.

„Tegan!" I hear my mother scream and feel her arms holding me still. „Honey, what's going on?" She screams and a second pair of hands joins hers on my body. I collapse in the arms of my family members.


	29. Dirty Little Secret

**Tegan's P.O.V.**

My eyes snap suddenly open and I gasp for air. My hands fly to cover my eyes from the bright morning Sun. For a second, everything is fine but then I remember what happened during the night.

I'm tucked in my bed, a glass of water placed on my bedside table. As I start to move my limbs, I feel pain and soreness in my cunt from Sara's last night rough actions. Sara. Where is she? Did she understand the same thing as I did? Before I can get out of the bed, the door opens and my mother walks in slowly, avoiding my eyes. Her eyes are red and swollen from crying, making her wrinkles more visible. She sits down on my bed and lets out a small sigh.

„Before you say anything, Tegan," She begins quietly. „I need you to know that I had no other way. I was so young and your father just left. I didn't have a heart to get an abortion, so I gave the baby to my friend. She…" Sonia swallows, her voice cracking a bit. „She worked as a midwife in the hospital, so she delivered the baby and wrote her to her own name. Nobody knew I was involved. She couldn't have kids herself, so that was the best I could give to my child. I was a part of Sara's life, I watched her from afar as she was growing up. When I decided it's time for her to know the truth, my friend and I got into a fight, she stopped letting me near Sara. When your father came back again and we…_You_ happened, he was upset that I gave our baby away but he didn't help me at all back then. I started to believe what he said; that I was a heartless monster, giving away my child who I bonded with for 9 months. So the abortion seemed like a better lie to tell you," She takes my hand in hers and wipes her eyes with the other one. „I'm sorry, honey. You deserved to know."

I just nod, still in shock. Is this a joke? Sara and I can't be sisters…We just can't. We've done all those…Unsisterly things…

„Tegan, there's still something that _I_ need to know in return," Sonia says, her voice uncertain and nervous. „Are you and Sara…Involved?" The ringing begins in my ears again and I get burning hot all over my body. I can't lie to her, she'll see right through it.

„I just…Saw the way you looked at each other, and your reaction…I understand if you are. Legally, you're not related. But honey, she's 32…She has a family. You can't do that to Emy. I can't let you ruin her happiness." She says quickly before I can even reply. She knows. It's all over.

„What makes you think she's happy with Emy?" I ask her, my unused voice hoarse. Sonia's eyes go wide at this and she looks taken aback by my question.

„They're having a baby. I admit, she has been distant to Emy lately, but is it really because of you? Is she happy with you?" She asks calmly and I thank God for giving me such an understanding mother.

„She is." I say confidently and don't feel awkward telling my mother about my affair with my own sister.

„Well," She coughs. „It's really not my place to judge, you didn't know. But it's not right of her to cheat on Emy. She's such a nice girl," I nod, Emy does seem nice. „What is going to happen now?" She asks me, eyes wide and waiting.

„I don't know…She said she'll break it off with Emy because she never really wanted to be with her or have a baby. I just…I don't know." I whisper and pull the blanket over my head to cover my shame because of breaking up a family.

* * *

**Sara's P.O.V.**

I can hear her screaming at me before I can even properly unlock the apartment door.

„How could you do this to me and our child! I waited for you all night, I called you a hundred times!" Emy shouts in the hallway as I put my coat away.

„Where were you?" She demands angrily but I walk right past her to the living room and open the liquor cabinet.

„Why are you drinking at 10 am?" She asks in confusion, her voice lower now. I pour myself a glass of Jack Daniels and take a seat on the couch, staring out of the window.

„Honey…You're scaring me," Emy whispers and sits down next to me, holding onto her stomach. „Did something happen at the school party?" I shake my head and sigh. She rests her soft hand on top of my and gives it a squeeze.

„I'm…adopted," I chuckle and take a sip of my drink. „Apparently." Emy gasps at this.

„I'm so sorry, dear…How did you find out?" She asks but I stand up and empty the rest of the glass to the kitchen sink.

„I'd rather not talk about it." I say and walk away from her.

„Don't pull that shit again, Sara!" She raises her voice again. „That's why we broke up the last time! You never share anything with me, all you do is give me money like I was paid to be your wife! How can I make this marriage work if you don't even trust me?" She grabs my hand and turns me around to face her. I don't say anything, I can't. It's true, I don't trust her.

„I'm so sick of this!" She shouts suddenly and grabs the first thing in her hand's reach - a vase and throws it down to the floor. I don't move a muscle. I really don't care anymore. Not only did I cheat but I slept with my own sister. My little sister…

„You treat me like I'm a whore! I don't even know why I'm doing this whole pregnancy thing for you! I could have just aborted it!" She screams as if she as just finding reasons to blame me but something catches my attention.

„What do you mean…Aborted…You had it done to you in a hospital, with a sperm donor and a turkey baster…Why are you talking about abortion?" I ask her quietly. Her face turns red and she spins around, walking away.

„Nevermind." She mutters through her teeth.

„Emy!" I walk up to her, avoiding the remains of the vase on the floor and put my hands on her shoulders, making her look at me. „What did you do? Where did this child come from?" Tears start to form in her tired eyes and she swallows hard.

„I…I got really drunk at some party and it just happened…The father knows and has been texting me all this time. He wants to be with me and his child but he's broke." She admits and closes her eyes, as if she was waiting for a punch.

I drop my hands from her shoulders and take a step back. This should make me happy. This could mean I have a reason for the divorce but…She used me. I _loved_ her on some level.

„And I…Had money. The messed up divorce papers were perfect for your plan." I put together the facts.

„I'm sorry, Sara." She sobs, waiting for sympathy.

„You used me." I say angrily through my teeth.

„Oh, don't look so innocent!" She says suddenly, her words shooting like venom at me. „Why did you agree to try again so fast, huh? Didn't you use me to get over some bad romance?" She asks teasingly, seeing right through my game.

„Leave. Now," I say simply, against lowering my own pride. I take some money out of my wallet and hand it to her. „Go to her father, have a nice life." With that, I walk out of the room, knowing that it's the last time I'll ever see her.


	30. Soil, Soil

**Sara's P.O.V.**

I know it's not fair nor polite of me. But what else could I do? I have to let it go, I have to let her go. I can't keep doing this, I need space, I need to get away from all of that…Drama. I can't keep breaking her heart while the situation is slowly breaking mine. I would be happy with her, happier than ever before but I can't. The look on Sonia's face, the way Tegan reacted… This story has gotten too far. I should have never asked her to dance with me, I should have never let my guard down. Would my life be better if I had never met her?

"Miss?" The voice of a young female shakes me from my thoughts. The sounds return the picture around me. People coming and going, machines peeping, screens flickering… I look at the blonde receptionist in a light blue shirt, holding my ticket, waiting until I take it from her.

„Uh," I blink twice and take the card from her with my shaking cold hand. „Thank you." I turn away from the desk and go through the control gates. Once I'm in and ready to spend an hour waiting, I go straight to buy coffee to keep me company besides my book.

It's a beautiful June morning, I think as I sit down in front of the big window, a hot coffee in my hands. A bit cold, a bit foggy, but the Sun is starting to come out. I let my tired eyes wonder over the city and the trees far away. I can't believe I'm doing this. Just a week ago I was standing outside her house at night, hoping to find courage to knock or call her to come down. Just two weeks ago I thought we could have a future together. Just three weeks ago I was afraid I'll have a baby by the end of the year.

I haven't spoken to Tegan after the night I tried to take her without her permission. And…The night we found out we are sisters. I fell in love with my own little sister, how can I talk to her after this without feeling shame and disgusted?

_…But why hasn't she called? _The little voice in my head asks as I sip my strong coffee. I sigh, hoping she doesn't hate me now. Maybe Sonia won't let her contact me…Or maybe she just can't. At this point, I don't know what I feel. All I know is that I need to get away. I have three months to get settled down and find a new job.

The air conditioner on the wall keeps blowing cold air in my direction, making me sniffle because of the fresh, cold breeze. And I'm feeling directionless, yes, but that's to be expected and I know that best.

„Flight to Montreal departing soon, first class may begin going in through the gate A1…" I raise to my slightly shaking feet and grab my bag, throwing the empty coffee cup to the trash as I walk towards the gate. It's not like a romantic movie, my life. She won't be here, stopping me from going. She doesn't even know that I'm leaving. No one does.

As the plane finally starts to take off, I swallow hard with a lump in my throat. She can have a better future than this…So I'm going to stop troubling her….But buried in the documents in my computer, a letter, to send to her. And if I forget, or God forbid, die too soon, I hope that she'll hear me, know that I wrote to her.

I look at the city, getting more distant with each second and whisper a deserved farewell to her in my head.

„Goodbye Tegan, don't you forget about me."


	31. Wide Asleep

**Please listen to Outloudz - "Wide Awake" to this chapter. Thank you.**

**Tegan's P.O.V.**

It has been a blur since Sara left 6 months ago.

Others think she's gone missing or maybe she's rotting somewhere underwater, cold and dead. Sonia's worst fear _is_ that she's dead, I know it is, but she can't share that thought with me because she's afraid my heart would completely fall into pieces. But I know better. I know my Sara.

Even though she's not a coward, she keeps running away from everyone who tries to get close to her. I got inside of her, I even saw her shed a tear because of what we have. The thought of cracking her down to a normal human being's emotion level makes me smirk.

However, the smirk fades as soon as I remember that she left me here, all alone, without even a goodbye. No warning, nothing.

From Sonia, I heard that Emy's baby was from some guy and they moved in together. This made me happy and mad. Happy, because we wouldn't have to worry about Emy and the baby anymore, but mad because she used Sara and wasted our time.

Sara has broken my heart a million times but this is by far the worst thing she has ever done to me. Even though I know she's safe somewhere, still working and stressing, I can't help but to worry about her. Is she okay? Is she happy now? Does she still love me. She did it for my own good; it's impossible to date your older sister who also happens to be your History teacher. We really fucked up, didn't we.

I don't care if she's my sister, she doesn't feel like it. We're connected by blood, not by law. So what is stopping her now?

Even the school is not the same without her. I have no motivation to get up in the morning and drag myself into that jungle. Everything there reminds me of her. The History class is taken over by some old lady who can make everyone fall sleep within 2 minutes using just her monotone voice. Sometimes I glance at the desk quickly from the corner of my eyes, in hopes I'll see her there, smirking back at me and pretending to work.

I feel lonely and cold. Lindsey is not talking to me anymore, Anna moved and that's it. I have no more friends. I only talk to teachers and other workers, and quite honestly, I get along better with them than I ever did with Lindsey.

Deep inside, I know I should move on and stop dreaming about her but I can't. She treated me bad but she also risked all for me. I was worth the trouble back then.

So why am I not worth the trouble now that the most difficulties are gone?


	32. Again

_24. September, 2020_

**Tegan's P.O.V.**

_Move, just…Get out of the way…What are you staring at?_ I sigh and pull my stomach in to get through two hipster boys with big bags.

_Which seat is the best…Hmmm…In the middle, not too close, not too far…I plan to pass this class, so I have to pay attention. _I pick a seat next to the friendly and quiet-looking skinny girl with classes and dreadlocks. She smiles up at me as I sit down and put my notebook on the table.

„Hi. I'm Meri," She greets me cheerfully and holds out her hand. I shake it and smile my famous gummy smile. „And you are?" She asks.

„I'm Tegan, nice to meet you." I tell her and drop my tattooed hand back on my table. Her eyes go wide at hearing my name. „I know you! You play guitar and sing at that bar in old town! On Saturdays, right?" She asks as if she was a true fangirl. I giggle and nod. „So…Why this class?" She asks and twirls a dreadlock between her fingers.

„I don't know," I look around the auditorium of the university and think about my decision. „It's interesting. I'd like to teach it to kids someday. And you?" I ask the girl.

„Ahh, pretty much the same. I'm just interested in everything! So many things to discover, so little time!" She explains and we laugh. She's sweet, I like her. Maybe we'll even become friends.

„Hey, Tegan, do you want to grab a lunch later? I don't know anyone else here, so…" She asks shyly, her eyes hopeful. „Sure, I'd love to." I tell her and top it off with a smile. I really like this girl. Maybe we could…No, shut up, Tegan. You can't. You just can't.

The class goes by slowly, but it's interesting. At least, now it still is. Maybe not in a few months when I start to regret this and feel lazy. Thank God Sonia made me come here, playing in coffee shops and waiting tables doesn't pay very well.

Meri and I have lunch together and I find out she does amazing pieces of art and writes poetry. She really seems like a very amazing person. Plus, she's friendly to everybody.

Before my next class, we split up different ways and I can't help but to feel like in high school all over again. I'm nervous alone. Which is weird because I love being alone. Just…Not in situations where it's my first time being somewhere.

I go through the same routine as before to get to a preffered seat and feel proud of myself after managing it. I flip through the book as the lesson hasn't begun yet and wonder how my time here is going to be like. I hope I find a girlfriend or…Something close to it. It has been too long since I got some action and I'm really not the type of person for one-night stands.

The class goes suddenly quiet and I look up. A quite short woman, maybe in her forties, walks down to the table and places her bag on it. Her short brown hair is tucked neatly behind her left ear with a little golden earring that is only noticable because it reflects the light. She turns, facing in our direction. Her brown eyes are beautiful and deep.

„Good afternoon, my name is Sara Quin and I'll be your History professor." She announces.

_Fuck._

_Not again…_


	33. Nostalgia-Sequel 1

**These will be short little updates, the time gap between them might be weeks or months and later on, years. I will keep updating sequels for months, so don't be sad!**

_25. September, 2020_

**Sara's P.O.V.**

Here she is again…Standing right in front of me, staring and waiting. The love of my life, all grown up…And more gorgeous than I remembered. Her hair is really short on one side and curly and long on the other, framing her beautiful pale face. I had no idea she'd be here, taking my class. I didn't even know she was in Montreal. I knew nothing about how she was doing. It's not that I didn't care…I just gave her a chance for a normal life.

„I…" She begins, her voice stuck and cracking. „I don't believe this." She bites her lip and shakes her head. We're alone in the auditorium, the door closed…This starts to remind me too much of the breaks spent in my classroom during her high school period and the nostalgia freaks me out.

I clear my throat awkwardly and run my tongue over my dry bottom lip. „I know." I whisper, not knowing how else to respond.

„How have you been?" Tegan asks shyly and plays with her cuticles, looking down and slightly swaying her body from side to side.

„I've been good. And you?" I lie and ask back. I haven't been good, if to think about it now. I left my whole life behind years ago and wasted so much time, how could I be good?

„Good," She says, brings her lips together in a disappointed smile and looks into my eyes. „I guess I'll go now." She announces and turns to leave.

„Wait, Tegan," I stop her by grabbing her soft wrist gently. The touch of her skin, after 7 years, sends electric shocks up my entire hand, starting from my fingertips. „Would you like to…Talk someday?" I ask. I need to know all about what I missed. Does she have a girlfriend, or maybe she likes men now, maybe she even has a tiny version of herself already…

„Yeah," She nods and the corner of her lips twitches up. „I'd like that." She frees her wrist from my hold by starting to walk towards the door. I keep my eyes on Tegan's back until she pulls the door closed behind her. I sit down on my chair and let out a long sigh, hiding my face in my hands.

_Tegan, Tegan, Tegan._

It's odd thinking of her again. Saying her name and touching her. I had thought I'll never see her again or that if I will, she will shout at me for leaving and breaking her heart. But she was calm. The years have probably fixed her. They sure had fixed me but now that she's back in my life, my heart is screaming inside my chest, begging for the flowing questions to stop.

It took a year for me to stop having ideas of packing up and flying back to her, two years to stop thinking of her in every hour, three years to accept my own decision, four years to date again, five years to date again _without_ guilt, six years to be happy with my life and seven years to have my head go crazy again.

What is going to happen, what do I feel, what does she feel, what, what, what…?

I swallow some of my cold coffee and stare at nothing.


End file.
